Can't Resist a Bad Boy -- Kim Sangwoo of JustB x Reader

I - My Secret

You're not going to believe this. I barely believe it myself. It wasn't exactly the kind of thing I could tell my friends or my co-workers about, but I had this awesome feeling blooming in my chest for all of three days.

I had met Sangwoo, a real K-pop idol, and he was going to stop into the coffee shop where I worked. It's kind of hard to explain now, but after a chance encounter, I had ended up in a taxi on my way home still wearing his coat. Again, don't ask. It was real. It had happened, and he was going to come collect it later in the week. Yahoo!

But seriously, I wanted to tell someone. As far as secret knowledge went, it was killing me, trying to keep this to myself. I spent far too much time lost in thought as it was. I didn't need the distraction, keeping this explosive excitement bottled up. It wasn't just a casual song playing in my chest, this was an entire symphony orchestra, complete with booming kettle drums.

Iwas up a little earlier every day, walking a little faster, and taking time to dab on a little makeup before leaving for school. Barely noticeable, just enough foundation to smooth out my complexion and a few swipes of mascara. Why, you ask? Because I am going to be seeing Sangwoo. Sangwoo! I wanted to shout at the top of my lungs, but in the end, I worked extra hours, wanting to be in his neighborhood.

For the first two days I kept his coat with me, like a precious item someone might kidnap from my locker and hold for ransom. It was black, a combination of a nylon coat and a hoodie. Absolutely nothing about it was exceptional, except for the scent of him that lingered on it. I was the only one who knew that. Man, I don't know what I was thinking.

I guess that's what was really going on. I wasn't thinking. Every time I went to work, I hung the black jacket on a peg beside the back door. I don't know, probably expecting he'd rap out some kind of secret code on the alley door so I could make him a latte, write his name on the cup and sneak it out the back door into the dim light. No one would even know he'd been to Heavenly Coffee. Except me.

Iwas giggling inside again. Like he was some kind of singing superhero. His music had an edge to it, more hard rock and hip hop than most boy band stuff. It wasn't soft, or cuddly. It was badass.

A multitude of interviews and videos splashed across social media made it easy for me to get to know his group, Just B. Most fans describe their idols the same way, using the same kind of words: handsome, genuine, hardworking, talented. He was all that, and more. So yeah, I had a new bias.

Getting to know him online wasn't what had my heart tingling. I liked that he was quiet. That he was happy just to walk in silence breathing in the cold air. That he left the house without his phone, and he didn't feel insecure that the world wasn't at his fingertips.

I had seen a funny clip of him and the rest of Just B playing Mafia, and I loved that he could fool them all so easily. With just the slightest hint that he didn't understand the game, they all mentally pegged him as a non-threat. Their mistake.

There was one thing I figured out about Sangwoo, and that was when he got competitive, man, he got competitive.

* * * * *

So, a couple of days went by, and then a couple more. I stopped folding his jacket up and stowing it in my bag every night, I just left it hanging on the peg by the staff door. Realization finally hit me that he had probably only been being polite, or kind when he mentioned returning to pick it up. Because it was getting more and more apparent that he wasn't coming.

The truth was, I knew his group was insanely busy, first prepping to release a new single, and then making the dozens of show rounds required to promote it. I kept an eye on the building where I had concluded they lived, but I never saw any of what I'd consider paparazzi or crazy fan activity. Maybe, I told myself, he really wanted to return but just couldn't.

Wow, I was good at fooling myself. After the first few days, I had stopped wearing the good clothes from the back of my closet. The ones my mom ironed. After a week, the makeup had gone back into the box under the bathroom sink. And after a fortnight I had stopped actually brushing my hair before twisting it up on top of my head with a clip. Just a random finger-comb or two, and I was ready.

The weather turned colder, like abruptly colder. I eyed his hoodie by the alley door every time I had to drag empty crates outside, thinking maybe, maybe I could get away with keeping it. I laughed so hard I snorted at that thought. Keeping it... more like inheriting it. And Iwas angry, and a little hurt. Didn't stop me from watching every one of his showcases though, as he and Just B promoted their new single.

If I could have afforded it, I'd have gotten a ticket to see him live, and then, I don't know, stood by the stage door, lying in wait so I could thrust his coat out to him when he went by. No, that wasn't too stalkerish.

So, there it slumbered, on the peg by the door while I froze. You think I'm an idiot, don't you? I admit it. I am. But sometimes being a dolt pays off.

It all seemed normal, the quiet chill as I was locking up and kicking empty boxes out of my way in the gray light of the alley. The door was being obnoxious, not closing right, and I gave it an angry pull, a curse about to erupt from my lips. Finally, I jammed it closed.

A small movement caught my eye, as a tall figure detached itself from the doorway of the next building and stepped in my direction. Trouble was not what I needed right now. It was going to regret poking this bear. "Not the time, buddy!"

I raised my hand in the universal "stop!" signal, turning to leave. And then my heart almost stopped. I should have known it would be him. He had a talent for appearing when I was at my worst.

"Oh, it's you!"

 He didn't say anything, just strode closer, raising one eyebrow up in his usual, silent way of asking a question.