Lovers *st berry*

Chapter 2

Today was September 19th. Two months since me and Jesse had sex. 7 weeks and 6 days since Finn called me late at night. He would always love me, and I never stopped loving him. I had swallowed a cherry pit of sadness when Jesse left. Every time I saw Finn I remembered Jesse. We weren't together then, but his heart was still with me that dreadful, beautiful, remorseful, and stupid night with Jesse. So I never told him, there was no need, it was over with.

Jesse texted me only once. 'No pressure' was all it said. I never responded. There was a lot of pressure. It would be fun to sneak around, but I didn't want to break Finn's heart. Telling him would crush him. I was so scared. On the phone Finn said he was still a little insecure around me. It was the most honest conversation we ever had. Our relationship grew into something I never thought it could be. But still, I wouldn't get physical with him. I had felt weird since my time with Jesse. An ache in my stomach for him. Bile in my throat when I thought of what I had done. Wait a minute... Intense nausea, weight gain, stomachs pain, back pain. This was no longer sounding like guilt, it was starting to sound like I was pregnant. I was too busy with Finn I had ignored the signs, and the missed periods. The tears were coming on fast. My phone then buzzed with a message. 'I miss you' it was from a 1989 number saved on my phone as Jesse. He pays his phone company an extra 20 dollars each year to get Taylor Swift's album name as his last four digits. A second messaged 'It's been 2 months' then a third 'our spot at 4??'

No I couldn't go until I found out the truth. Was my life ruined or was I just crazy? Quinn would know. She would help me. She picked up the phone after 3 rings. Quinn and I didn't talk all summer after nationals. In her mind I stole the love of her life, but in my mind I got mine. She wouldn't normally take my call, but then again I wouldn't normally call.
   "Is everything alright?" She asked straight off the bat.
   "I made a really big mistake. Something only you would understand. I need help." I cried. Quinn wasted no time on the phone.

   "Rachel take a deep breath. I'll come and help you, I promise no matter what it won't be that bad." She got to my house in under ten minutes. It was early in the morning, she hadn't taken the time to do her makeup she just came straight to me.
   "Rachel it's good you came to me. I know we haven't been best friends lately, but I'd like to think that no matter what you would come to me if you needed." Quinn said.
   "I'm in so much trouble Quinn." I cried. She pulled me into a big hug. She shushed me in her soothing voice.
   "Everything will be fine. It gets better I swear," She rubbed my hair to calm me down. "First you need to take a test. Then we'll go from there. Okay? Can you do that?" She asked. She procured the stick form her bag. Peeing on it was humiliating. How did I get here? I was supposed to be on broadway, not hunched over a toilet throwing up. The wait was excruciating and filled with Quinn's curiosity.
  "When did the symptoms first start?"
   "A few weeks back," I replied. "I was just to scared to realize it.
   "What are you going to tell Finn?" I started to cry even harder. This wouldn't just affect me, it would affect Jesse, Finn, and the glee club.
   "I can't tell him. He would be so mad. He'd hate me."
   "He loves you. He would support you."
    "Not if he wasn't the father." Quinns breathing stopped. But I hadn't done anything she hadn't. There was no judgment just sadness. Her eyes carefully looked down at the test. Her mouth slightly opened then she snapped it close real quick. I didn't need to look at it. I knew it was positive. I've known for weeks.
    "Rachel I'm so sorry." But I couldn't talk, I could only cry in her arms.

She brought me water and kneeled on the floor was I was stationed. She pet my head until I leaned up.
   "Forget about Finn. You made a mistake, we all know what that's like. God knows I know. Finn will know you still love him, and that you made a mistake." That wasn't true. He hadn't loved her after she confessed. He ran off to me. And I didn't love Finn like I did back then.
   "Quinn, the baby is Jesse's," Her mouth made a shocked oh sound. "And I still love him."
   "Rachel listen to me when I tell you that it will be okay. You and I both know that if you wanted Finn he would have you. No matter what you did. And if you want Jesse, he'd love you. Things work out. Jesse will love you." And I wanted to believe her, I did.  But I knew that everything I've gotten at this point I worked for. They didn't just happen on their own. Quinn took me to the free clinic in our district, right now the street from where I was to meet Jesse at. The car was silent except a few deep breaths and my heartbeat. She gripped the wheel right and went 20 over the speed limit. We got to the small beige building and I stepped out of her expensive car. Deep breath Rachel. You're worrying for nothing. There is no way you're pregnant.
     "You're definitely pregnant."

My anxiety was crushing on the way to meet Jesse. Our spot was a cafe we went on our first date at. I walked up behind him. I kept my demeanor calm as best I could. When I sat down his eyes pierced mine. I was so in love. I thought that it would go away after this time apart, but it was only stronger. I could only look at him, my words hadn't been able to form yet. Standing here I was a baby again, a cranky, blubbering baby.

     "You look great Rachel. Your hair is longer." He said.
    "Stop it." I smiled.
   "No really, you look, you look different. You're glowing," Compliments were our currency. I was an insecure person, I needed lots of reassurance. Jesse was always great at making me feel special. He believed I was, and he would stop at nothing to make me believe it too.
"I guess love will do that to you. How's Finn?" He was checking out his competition now. He knows I wouldn't have met him here unless I wanted him, and he was right.
   "He's fine."
    "Just fine?" He smiled at me while raising his eyebrows.
   "I still love you," I blushed. He lowered his eyebrows and closed his mouth tight. "Don't pretend to be shocked. We both know I would have never met you here if I didn't."
    "It's still nice to here it."
    "I'm still with Finn." He looked me in my eyes, like doing so could reveal to him something.
    "Okay..." he started. But I needed to speak.
"Jesse I messed up so bad." Wet, hot tears were coming down my cheeks. I was gasping for air loudly. Jesse placed his hands around me. I followed him out the door, before I knew where we were going. I couldn't see, I could just feel deep sadness, and his arms holding me.
"Rachel talk to me. What ever it is you can tell me." I gasped for air once more.
"No I can't. It's such a mess. Finns going to be so hurt." Jesses eyebrows lowered.
"We'll you can just break up with him. If that's what you want." He reasoned.
"Jesse..." My crying softened. Our eyes locked on each others.
"Rachel?"
"Jesse." My cheeks lifted upwards.
"Oh Rachel!" Jesse took me in his arms once more. There was no mistaking it. The car was filled with broken dreams and shattered promises. "It's okay, it'll be fine. I promise. I'll love you always. And I'll take care of the baby, if that's your choice."
"It is." I assured him. It was only a few words but it meant everything. I trusted him enough to raise my child with him. To give everything up for our family, I knew he'd support me if I choose to get an abortion, but I didn't want to. This was me saying if it was with him, I could do it.
"I can co-parent with Finn. I'll do it for you and the baby."
"Jesse..."
"We can have Christmas together. Vacation together. They'll get two dads, just like you Rach."
"Jesse the baby is yours, not Finn's."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes." This implied everything. I gave Jesse what I never gave Finn. I shared the deepest part of myself with Jesse, even though I was with Finn.
    "Rachel I love you. No matter what happens, I will do everything in my power to make your life better. I want you to trust me." I gently placed his hands on my belly. His lips curled up and reached his cheeks.
   "I trust you so much Jesse," We leaned over the back seat and pulled our lips together. "Jesse I'm still with Finn." Our lips pulled closer.
   "So?" They almost touched, but not quite.
   "I don't wanna hurt him anymore."
   "Just one, I promise." I laughed. With Jesse One was never enough, but sometimes it could be too much. We sat in the car for minutes, just kissing. I felt like I had the teenage life, with my teenage dream, that I've always wanted.