after all this time | ✎

ii.

mention of blood & death 

──

THE HEAT OF the latte radiates into my fingertips. I sit in the corner booth, alone, and stare at the intricate leaf design floating at the top of the latte.

The smell of roasted coffee beans saturates the air. I trace the top of the mug with my finger, around in endless circles, a habit that I can't seem to stop.

I take another sip; it's colder now. I push through to finish the remaining half of the drink, grasping the handle I smile at my reflection in the black ceramic.

I bring the mug to the counter, smile at the barista, tell her that I'll see her tomorrow, and open the door to leave, the brisk winter air whirls in behind me as I close the door to the coffee shop.

The air is frozen lace on my skin, delicate and cold, like winter waves on sallow sand. The sky is washed with grey, watery light illuminating thin patches to brilliance. In some moments I watch my boots over the frozen sidewalk, perfect concrete slabs, flat and square, and in others transfixed to the interplay of cloud and sun above. 

Only the slipping of my feet brings my attention earthward once more, the need to stay upright pulling my mind into the present.

Barnard College.

I pull open the front office door, and the loud voices outside all drown out into quiet nothingness.

Mrs. Marion Collins, the college chancellor, waves me into her office, "Good morning, Serenity. How are you?"

"I'm very well, thanks. How are you?"

"I am doing fine. Why don't you have a seat?"

According to the certificate on the wall above her head, she's been at Barnard for nine years.

"Do you have any questions for me?"

I nod, "In the email, it wasn't mentioned what classroom I intern in. The only information I received was that my supervisor is Professor Ellis, I believe."

The creases in her brow tell me very clearly how wrong I am. "We overlooked how many interns we would receive this year, and in consequence, we had to switch interns with different supervisors, you being one of them."

She digs through documents on her desk, "Your Supervisor is now Professor Irwin. His classroom is on the fourth floor, the last classroom to your left."

I balance my bag under my arm and hold out my hand, "Great, well thank you for everything."

She shakes my hand, "I can promise you that the caring and energizing environment here will prove unique from any other school you may have visited. If you have any more questions, please don't be afraid to ask."