Slowly Growing Up

Before School

I'm going to be honest. Life before I started school was very difficult. I went through some really bad health issues, and my family is still worried about them. Considering I'm very young so my issues wont kick in for a while, I'm not necessarily worried. There were still those moments where my health kicked in and scared me. 

I wasn't necessarily able to have a normal home life when I was first born. I was in and out of hospitals, and I had my first MRI when I was just a few days old. Obviously I don't remember it, but I got told it happened by my parents, so I'm taking their word for it. 

My parents are highly religious, and they told me that my birth and my diagnosis strayed my mother farther away from God than she's ever been. Naturally, I can't help but feel bad. I'M the reason my parents were not satisfied in their faith. I know it's not my fault and I cant change my health, but I still feel bad. It's been over 14 years and I still feel bad. I get told that it's okay to feel guilt, but I shouldn't feel guilt over something Im not able to control.