Halves

XII. Hades

Although I had originally planned to show Persephone my entire kingdom in one day, we ended up staying in Elysium for most of it. 

I do not often linger there so long. 

Perfect as it is, I am always left on edge when I visit, as if I have been transported back to the vulnerable husk of a man I was directly following my imprisonment, instead of the powerful King I know I am now. 

Perhaps it serves as a reminder that such an immaculate vision of eternity can never be mine. 

Or maybe, surrounded by so much untarnished loveliness, I am simply confronted with my own deep-running feelings of unworthiness and being out of place.

But with Persephone...I could spend days in there. Standing on the clifftop, with her so close — it still amazes me, how she welcomes my touch so readily — the whirling spiral of darkness never dragged me down.

 I could be free of my demons for that time with her.

I came so close to telling her I loved her, there on the cliff.

But words seemed so worthless, so I contented myself with the smoothness of her skin beneath my fingertips and the mischievous way a few strands of her hair tickled at my throat. I wonder if she will eventually realize why she is here on her own, before I have found the right words to ask if she will be my Queen.

And I wonder, will she still look at me with the same open and trusting eyes when she does?

Although I question her again in the evening if she wishes me to return her to Demeter, she declines, and asks instead if she can take a few of my scrolls out to the courtyards so she can read by the fountains. I give her permission and invite her to share dinner with me again, which she accepts. After our meal together, she disappears upstairs with a new armful of scrolls to the room I prepared for her.

Has she realized yet that she occupies the largest and finest of the empty rooms in my palace? If she accepts my proposal, that chamber would become hers, to do with as she likes. 

She appears comfortable here, in the lands I rule. My suspicion that she would feel at home in Elysium was apparently correct, and I do not believe I am fooling myself when I think she seems to like my company.

Sleep is impossible to come by with all of these thoughts jostling for position in my mind, and finally I grow too restless to stay in my bed and fight the battle any longer. I leave instructions with one of the shades who will be serving Persephone, to tell my guest that I will return before dinner if I am still gone when she wakes. 

Then I harness my horses to the chariot again and ride up to the mortal world.

I do not make a habit of shirking my responsibilities and leaving my kingdom without being summoned, but there is only one being I can confide in regarding my current situation, and I need to speak with her. Disembarking and tying off the horses, I don my Helm of Darkness and travel the remainder of the way on foot, unseen.

I am the only Olympian who knows that she still lives in the mortal realm.

Standing on the sandy shore, I breathe in the scent of saltwater on the breeze for a moment before entering the archway between the rocks. Underneath the ground lies the palace we built together, cleverly hidden so it appears to be nothing more than a mountain. I walk down twisting dark hallways until I arrive at her chamber. The door is ajar, and the fires are still burning. 

She does not find sleep any easier than I do, even after these thousands of years.

Bent over her weaving, her hair unbound and gleaming like burnished bronze in the firelight, she does not turn around right away. "I know someone is out there."