Chapter Eleven

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Lucien had walked up to the restaurant, half hour early. He knew that he shouldn’t expect Elain to show, shouldn’t sit here getting his hopes up. But he couldn’t help it. A part of him, the part that was getting increasingly more difficult to control when it came to Elain, was just overtaking his thoughts with excitement at the thought of just seeing her and getting to talk to her and be having lunch with his mate, something so very long overdue.

Closing his eyes, and taking a breath, Lucien managed to calm his nerves. This, this was the very reason he had sent the invitation out. And if she showed, if she decided to show, he could talk her into doing something, anything about the bond between them, even if it was breaking it, rejecting it. Anything to stop the sense of madness he was feeling.

He had dinner with Feyre and Rhysand that evening, and he didn’t know what about, only that it was urgent, and that they wouldn’t say anything else about it. They had been gone for the past three days, only showing up two nights ago to get Nyx, and take off again. He didn’t know where, and no one was saying anything.

He was here as their guests, on buisness, and they hadn’t been here save the first night he was.

A waiter had come by, taken his order, and Lucien had simply ordered a tea, not wanting to order himself anything to eat, just in case Elain had decided she would come. He didn’t want to be eating when she showed up. He would wait for her at least, and order his meal when she arrived. If she arrived.

He was to check in on Tamlin, make sure he wasn’t doing anything that could potentially be harmful to himself, the remaining residents of the Spring Court, or his neighbours, in the Human Lands, the Summer Court and the Autumn Court. He should do that after his meal and before his evening with Feyre and Rhysand. He also wanted to see how if his old friend was okay. Whether the cruel animal cared or not. He would probably see if the Morrigan would winnow him to the Spring Court after so he could do so.

It felt like no time at all, but at the same time, it felt like forever, when Lucien realized it was a quarter after two in the afternoon. He had been waiting for Elain for an hour and a half, and she hadn’t shown. He had expected her not too, but there was still a large part of him that had felt hurt he hadn’t prepared for at the realization. So silently, he stood up, dropped a few coins on the table for the tea, and made his way out of the restaurant.

He needed to find a way to the Spring Court, so he could get some work done. He was tired of sitting here in this city, with nothing to do, at the risk of bumping into his mate, who clearly couldn’t stand the idea of meeting with him for the opportunity to reject him. He needed to do something.

So he went to find the famous Mor, to ask her to winnow him to the Spring Court.

And that evening, he would inform Rhys and Feyre that he could no longer come to Velaris, or even the Night Court. So if they still needed, or even wanted him to be their Emissary to the Human Lands, they would have to meet him, in the Human Lands, to do business from now on.

*** ***

Arriving in the Spring Court, Lucien looked around. He had told Mor to give him a few hours, so he could find, check on, and perhaps talk to Tamlin. Tamlin hadn’t always spoke to him, but he tried to talk to Tamlin.

They had been friends for centuries, and if they weren’t friends anymore, Lucien still knew him best, so he had the best chance to get through to him.

It wasn’t until then that he realized that he was still hungry. He hadn’t eaten, he had just walked out of the restaurant, and then had been to busy trying to craft the perfect letter that he hadn’t had time for breakfast.

He started to walk around, looking for where Tamlin could be, but unable to find him where he usually hides away, or hunts, or just sleeps.

It wasn’t until he passed the old manor when he was reminded of when times were simpler. Before he had a mate. Before humans turned fae. Before they got involved with humans at all. Before evil women took his eye. Before evil women put a curse on the land and the fae. It was simple. It was fun.

Lucien ended up finding himself walking himself up the marble steps of the old manor where he had spent so many decades living, remembering what life was like.

Lucien found himself walking to the dining hall, and found Tamlin sitting at the head of the table, with… with one of his brothers sitting at the table where he used to sit. In clothing that used to be his.

Shocked, Lucien hesitated a moment too long, giving Tamlin the chance to speak first. “Lucien! You’re just in time. Your brother was just about to deliver some news. Come, sit.”

Too shocked to do anything else, Lucien fell into habit, and turned around, closing the dining hall doors, before walking to the table, sitting across from his brother. He took the extra glass of wine his brother offered, not drinking it, and just sat there.

“Father’s dead,” Luciens brother said, directly to him, without even looking at Tamlin.

And perhaps it was the fact that he had nothing to eat today. Perhaps it was the fact that he was possibly going mad from the mating bond. Perhaps it was some cruel sick joke of his brothers, but Lucien was taken back with such shock, that the only thing he could think to do, to keep him from responding, was grab the glass of wine and take a long drink from it.

“Fathers dead, and I think you know how it happened, being so close to the Night Court.” His brother finished,

“What are you,” Lucie started, trying to gather his thoughts which were getting harder to do by the second. “I don’t under- I don’t- I do- I” His head becoming foggy, words slurring, and vision getting blurry, there was something wrong.

Pushing himself up, he managed to stand, but he knew once he was standing, that that would be the most he could do.

He should have known the moment he walked into this room and saw both Tamlin and his brother sitting at the table something was seriously wrong. But he let his shock get the best of him. His brother never left the Autumn Court, and Tamlin never came in this manor anymore.

Unable to hold his weight anymore, he fell back into the chair.

Rather than mentally call out to Rhysand or Feyre the ones who could actually help him or hear him in this instance, his last conscious thought was for his mate. Even if she didn’t want him enough to show up earlier.

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