Exist To Fall (Fransykes)

Chapter 1

I'm dedicating this to cloud_3 and Not-Really-Here because they both had to handle my ass getting hyped for this story 😭. I hope I can live up to the expectations I set for myself ;)

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Blue. Bright gentle blue. Fading light. Gentle touch.

Cold.

"The moon," Oliver whispers. Hazy dazed eyes fluttering heavily. "Moon's so big from here. Looks so pretty, doesn't it, Josh? S' pretty."

Darkening ocean. Dull gentle blue. Faded light. Rigid touch.

It's cold. The wind picks up. The sky seems to darken into a lower shade of black. The stars start to fade. The moon becomes a blur.

"So big," his voice wobbles. "Bright. Moon's so bright, Joshie. Ain' it?"

Fear. Crippling fear.

A final exhale, slow and steady, tired, not Oliver's, catches his attention. Makes his eyes flutter to the bloodied mess of black curly hair brushing on his cheek. His unfocused brown eyes widen ever so slightly before his eyes move to the angel laying atop his body. Fingertips follow weakly his shoulder down to his back. Prayer. Oliver, ironically, prays. He doesn't look at his face. Can't bring himself to do it. Doesn't dare to. All hope brings earth-shattering truth alongside a choked sob and Oliver doesn't like crying.

There's no way out. Not this time. So he prays.

Then, he tightens his hold, brings the angel closer mindless to his own broken leg. It throbs, unlike the numbness tied to his heart. The broken grey wing shifts lower as Oliver does so, flops beside them on the ground, hanging by the torn muscle. Oliver internally winces at the sight of said burnt wing. Exhales.

"Y' must," Slow inhale, airy exhale. "Be cold." He shifts his palm to rub at Joshua's cold exposed back, thin blood turning back squeamish at the softest touch. His arm has gone numb. Oliver is mindless. The lightness on his head doesn't allow him to feel anything. But the arm looped around Joshua's waist does a pathetic attempt to tighten - Oliver is too weak. The blood pooling underneath him is not Joshua's alone. Delirium begins to dance underneath his eyelids. " 'S cold. 'S so cold, Joshie. 'M cold."

The lack of everything and anything does nothing to Oliver. The rocks underneath his body hurt his already slashed back. The blood only seems to pour out faster. Feels like it at least. His arms have gone numb by now. Joshua's weight is the only comfortable ache. Perhaps if Joshua's heavy enough so his soul will be trapped here instead of meeting the devil yet again.

"Josh," he chokes. "Joshua. Joshie," a heavy swallow. The world tilts to the left slowly. The moon seems to fade, too. Joshua. Joshua would do something about this. Josh would take care of him. His guardian angel. Josh. Josh. Josh. "Save me," he doesn't care that he's babbling. "Save us, Joshie. I need it. Again. Josh."

His stuttering breath is slowing. Following the steps of the body atop his. He's cold. Lightheaded. Trying not to go but death has a hold on his hands already.

" 'M love you. 'M in love with you. Josh. Love you. I-"

Loud loud loud, so awfully loud. Big Ben does what it has to do. It goes by, telling the hours careless to the burning town before it. It was the safest place to land, Joshua said.

It feels anything but safe.

It rattles Oliver's bones. To be laying on top of the clock, makes him feel about to shatter. Or perhaps it was the prior events. Oliver doesn't know. Can't know. He feels it coming. The big ben announcing midnight like that was the final warning.