𝙎𝘼𝙏𝙐𝙍𝙉 ✮ 𝘯. 𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘧𝘧

{𝟎𝟗} - 𝐀𝐧𝐜𝐡𝐨𝐫

Barton Residence

Missouri, U.S.A.

January 2013

THE click of the lighter echoed across the rooftop. But no matter how many times the sound pierced the air around her, Natasha continued to set the lanterns aflame; as many times as it took for her to be satisfied. This annual, isolated celebration was the only time she didn't hate reminiscing in her childhood. It was the only time she felt she could be vulnerable, because up here, the stars could see her clearly. The stars were watching.

In some ways, it still felt dull to her. She hated that this was the only way for her to communicate her feelings to somebody who likely wasn't with her anymore. Somebody who had not deserved the deck they had been dealt. It was not only her memorial, but her appreciation, to a girl who changed her life in more ways than one.

Natasha just hoped she could see it.

"What are you doing?" Of course she wouldn't have been able to sneak up here without anyone noticing. Particularly not Clint, who had been on her tail the last few days, tirelessly asking questions about his best friend's abrupt change in mood. She sighed, releasing another lantern, the pile at her feet rustling slightly in the wind.

Clint walked over and picked one up, surveying it like he had never seen such a contraption. "Lanterns?" He furled his eyebrows at her. "What are these for?"

Wordlessly, Natasha glanced at him and plucked the light out of his hands. She quickly reached in and ignited it, releasing it again and watching as it rose toward the moon.

"Nat, seriously. What the hell are you doing? And are you...smiling? I can't remember the last time I saw you smile." He chuckled quietly to himself.

Natasha looked to him again, this time holding his gaze. She had been working on opening up a bit more to him in the latest months, but it had proved to not be the easiest of tasks. In the past year she had noticed some of her grief resurfacing like never before, and every minuscule aspect of her life seemed to threaten to break her resolve.

She looked back up at the lantern, now a tiny spectacle in the night sky. "It's her birthday," she whispered. Clint had joined her in watching the mini light show, but at this, he craned his head back down to study her.

"Who's birthday?"

"Semna's."

"Sem-who?"

"She is...was," Natasha hesitated. She hadn't spoken about Semna out loud in years; talking about her in the past tense was proving to be difficult. "She was my partner. In the Red Room. That second agent you brought into SHIELD with me a few years ago?" She smiled sadly. "That was her."

"Oh." Clint was stunned by her openness. In the decade since he met Natasha, they had never discussed the incident she had with SHIELD all those years ago. He remembered the agent quite well actually; the stoic, yet somewhat sad expression plastered on the girl's face, the cunning way she spoke to him, the thick accent, which she had seemed almost embarrassed by. He didn't know much about Natasha's past, but he sure knew more than anybody else at SHIELD. And ever since the day her partner walked away, he had never heard Natasha mention Semna. Until now, when the words seemed to spill out of her mouth.

"That was the last day I saw her: after the explosion. She was injured and hurting more than I knew, and yet I was more concerned with finding a way out of that situation that I ignored what she wanted to do." She reached down for another lantern. Instead of lighting it, she fiddled with the material in between her fingers. "I never should have left her alone."

"Nat, it wasn't your fault. You were under our command and they were escorting you out."

"But you didn't know her like I did," she countered. She turned to him, a desperate look creeping onto her face. "I knew that at the first opportunity she had, she would run. It's what she did best. She was the fastest in our group, the smartest, but everybody always overlooked her. And now..." she wiped away a tear, "now she's probably dead. They knew she betrayed them. There's no way they would ignore that."

Clint stayed silent, reaching down to light a lantern of his own. Natasha handed him the lighter then watched as he lifted it up and let it float, up and away all on its own. He had many questions of his own, but he knew better than to make her answer them. As far as he knew, her past partner was a dead issue, one that was never mentioned unless Natasha brought it up on her own. Even Fury knew not to discuss it with her, even though he still kept his eye out for the girl every day.

He wrapped his arm around Natasha's shoulder, bringing her towards him. "Just do what you need to do, Nat," he said gently. "I'm here. That's not gonna change."

Natasha laid her head against his shoulder, playing with the ring on her finger solemnly. She watched the final lantern disappear above the clouds, until all she could see was the speck of a star.

"You know I love you, right?"

Clint chuckled. "I love you too, Nat. Always."

A/n: And so CATWS begins. I'm so excited for you to see what I have planned hehe.

Like, comment, etc. as always.

-sk.