How I Feel

93. demigod is a$$h0le

I enjoying my life for these past 6 months
I'm truly happy with anything that comes up to me.
But i don't know, why you're ruined it?
Why you have to do some shit to me?
Do you think that i'm strong enough to receiving the hurt you gave?
No, i'm not. I'm fragile.

When i said "Im okay" doesn't mean you can do anything that would hurt me.
I'm still desperate of my life,
I'm just trying to heal, not already healed.
So why you give me many times of hurts?

You can look at me now!
I have to forgive myself and build the happiness from the zero.. again
Are you crazy?
Messing up my life and act like it doesn't matter to you.

You're so fucking insane if you dont feel guilt after you hurt and messed up my happiness, while you can laugh and being happy with your friends.

Might you just need 24 hours to charge your mood by yourself
But it totally different with me,
its been 7 days since i can't do anything except hating myself to let my whole believing in you.

I just hate the way i believe in you
I hate how easy you are to break my whole happy days that already builded before i met you!
I hate the things we've been spending together, because it feels like you don't really get into it, like is just about a trash(?) for you.

Now on, those memories about you and both of us is just stuck on my head.
But i still can't forgive you, for any reason it still break my whole.

I once promise myself to not being hurt, but i'm so dumb right now
Damn! I don't deserve this kind of shit!

       -Rara Paraisa-
Dec 28, 2021. 10:16 am

Ps:  for demigod #9
im hurt, and idk where i can poured out my emotion

Btw ini draft gua tgl 28 dec, tpi bru gua posting skrg(2 january 2022)