Spirit and Soul Intertwined

Chapter 3

Judai's POV

A harsh sob pierced the air. Judai covered his mouth with his quivering hands, shivering on the dusty floor of the ramshackle house he'd hidden in. It wasn't much of a hiding place. There was no door and the windows were falling out of their frames. Not to mention all the holes in the wall. However, Judai didn't care. Sorrow was ravaging him like a vicious beast, dragging him to the ground and squeezing tears out of his eyes. *I broke my promise...*

He couldn't deny it now: his feelings for Johan, devotion, worry, affection... they matched his feelings for Yubel nearly exactly. They stemmed from different reasons. However, the result was the same: Judai had fallen in love with his best friend. He gripped his chest. Holding this in was killing him. However, he couldn't tell Johan, Yubel would hate him if they didn't already, and Daitokuji... Well...

Something soft brushed up against the back of Judai's hand. Judai glanced at Pharoah. The cat laid down on his belly, letting out a small meow. Judai pet him in firm strokes along his back, making the cat purr and meow loudly with delight. With one meow, a small orb floated out of Pharaoh's mouth. Judai glanced at it. The orb took the form of a familiar shape: one of his former teachers, Daitojuki: a pale man with long dark hair.

"Daitokuji..." Judai's voice trembled.

"Judai?" There was concern in the man's soft-spoken voice. "What troubles you so?"

"Yubel... and Johan."

"Ah," Daitokuji smiled a bit. "Classic case of a love triangle?"

Judai glared at him. "Don't call it that."

"Isn't that what it is?" His former teacher asked, raising an eyebrow. "You loved Yubel and now love Johan?"

"I still love Yubel," Judai growled, clenching his fist. "I swore to only love them. I don't have feelings for Johan... or..." His heart ached at those words, as if it were yelling at him not to lie. "At least I shouldn't," he added hastily.

Daitokuji's gaze softened with sympathy. "Feelings are allowed to change, Judai."

"But they haven't!" Judai's voice slipped out as a high pitched sob. Trembling, he went on, "I swear I still love them! But... Johan..." His eyes watered. "I've betrayed Yubel! I'm supposed to only love them!"

"According to who?"

Judai was taken aback by the question. Wasn't it obvious? "To me? To Yubel? To everyone! You pick one person and you stick with them! If you don't then... then it's not genuine!" Panic rose within Judai, enough to make him shake as if a tornado were ravaging the earth around him. "My... my love for Yubel. Maybe I did rush into it. Maybe... maybe I don't love them as much as I thought."

His heart ached at the thought. That couldn't be true. He'd never felt as strongly toward anyone as he felt toward Yubel... except Johan. Judai cringed. The feeling of intense dedication he felt toward Yubel was identical to the feelings he had toward Johan: feelings he thought had gone away before he found the fellow duelist again.

"Only you know the answer to that," Daitokuji replied, dipping his head.

Judai let out a sigh. He did know the answer, he'd known it all along and just chose to ignore it. Judai loved Johan. When they first met, Judai felt closer to him than anyone else. It wasn't an instant feeling. A quick feeling perhaps, but it was founded on mutual trust and familiarity. When Johan disappeared, it was as if life had ended for Judai: everything was meaningless to him besides the hope of getting him back. Losing that hope, and his friends, was what allowed the evil in Judai to take over. It was what lead to him becoming the Supreme King... And taking all those lives.