Chapter 21 - Wait For Me

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Connor

I can't believe we're doing this right now. She's kissing me again. Why?

The door swings open and I jump back. I look to see someone I never wanted to see again.

I stare at Adam. He stares at me, then Beth, then me. Then his expression turns angry.

He looks back at Beth. "Bethany?"

Beth looks like she's about to cry. "Adam- I- I can explain-"

He cuts her off with a small shake of his head, clearly disappointed.

I feel so bad. Why did I think about this? How could I?

He's about to leave, and I know I have to say something. I stand up.

"Wait," I say. I look at Beth, and she's staring at Adam, clearly trying to apologize through her eyes.

Adam turns back around, his expression still angry. I go out the room, not wanting Beth to feel even worse than she already does.

I close the door behind me. "Hey, man, listen-"

"I don't want to talk to you," he says. He's trying to get past me. I don't let him.

"I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do and-"

"Who even are you?" he says, his voice raising.

"I'm Connor," I say awkwardly. "Her, um, friend?"

"It doesn't look like you were up to friendly things in there," he says. "You knew she was taken, didn't you? Why would you-"

"It wasn't-" I cut myself off. Beth kissed me. Not the other way around. But I don't want to be the reason they break up. I think of all the times I told myself I loved her, that I wanted to be with her.

And I realize that I can't. So I might as well give up. I can't have her.

"Listen, I, uh, feel really bad. I know you're really mad, but don't be mad at her. She didn't know what she was doing. I'm sorry for getting involved. I won't bother you anymore. Or her."

He doesn't look at me. "Don't touch her again."

I put my hands up. "Promise I won't."

He pushes past me and goes down the stairs. I wait a few seconds before peeking my head into Beth's room. She hasn't moved.

"Is he mad?"

She looks so fragile, sitting on her bed with mascara running and hair still messy. I don't want to do this. I have to.

"No. He won't be again. I'm sorry, Beth. I just- I can't be here. I can't and I'm sorry. What we had isn't there anymore."

I almost cringe at my words. They're all lies. I love her. I want her. So badly. I use all the strength I have to continue.

"I won't see you again, Beth. I shouldn't have even-" I stop. I don't want to be here for too long. "I'm sorry."

And I leave.

She doesn't come after me.

;

Beth

I drive to Adam's house immediately. I ring the doorbell, and no one answers. I text him, he doesn't answer. I don't know what to do.

I sit on his porch and let more tears come. I can't believe I let this happen.

How could I be so stupid? How could I possibly think this would work? Connor can't even look at me anymore. But, before he left, I heard what he was really thinking. He does love me. And... do I love him too? But what I have with Adam is still there. Isn't it? It doesn't really matter, though, does it.

Now I don't have either.

Then I hear something.

What do I do?

Adam's voice. But not out loud. In his head. He's home.

I scramble to my feet and knock on the door, getting no answer.

"Adam," I say, loud enough for him to hear. "Adam, please. Please give me a chance to talk. I know you're there."

I hear a faint sound that sounds like a sigh. When I hear the click of him unlocking the door, I breath a sigh of relief.

He opens the door. He looks like he's been crying, too. And I realize how much he cares about me.

He opens it wider, letting me in without a word. I don't feel like I have the right to go to his living room. I stand there.

The silence feels like an eternity. He's hurt. It's my fault he's hurt.

I feel so stupid. So, so stupid. I never thought something like this would happen. I always followed the rules. And I break one and I'm heartbroken. I don't know how I could let down Adam like this.

He breaks the silence. "Bethany, if you want me to forgive you for whatever that was, I can't."

My breath catches. "I know," I say quietly.

"I thought I trusted you. I don't know if I can right now."

I stay silent.

"But Beth," he reaches over to me and lifts my chin so my eyes meet his. "I don't think I could forgive myself if I let you go."

Tears brim my eyes as well as his. "But why not, Adam?"

"I love you, Beth. I don't think it's a good idea for us to be together right now. If you love him, go to him. But I'll be here. I just-" He stops, looking at me like he's about to break. "You're everything I've got. I'll stay by your side, unless you really don't want me here."

I don't know what to say. I don't know how I feel about either of them anymore. I know Adam has better things to do than drive me to school everyday. He's almost nineteen. With his looks, he could get back in the modeling business, and the only time I'll see him is on the Abercrombie & Fitch ads.

"Time," I blurt out. "I need time."

I hiccup while another tear slides down my cheek. He uses his thumb to brush it away.

"I'll wait for you, forever."

A/N: Hi, guys :-) I hope you're still liking this, I have some more ideas. Let me know if you want me to continue the other story I'm writing? It's been two months since I updated that one, oops. Oh, and Rocelle (spiritlessteenager, but who knows she changes her URL like fifty times a day) brought to my attention that I'm almost at 1k reads and I wanted to say thanks. Didn't think this would really get anywhere, but it's gotten farther than I ever thought it would. Thank you!


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