Dancing With Our Hands Tied- Natasha Romanoff

9- consequences

"Because you are water twelve feet deep and I am boots made of concrete"- Twelve Feet Deep

Natahsa

I shift onto my right side, trying to get comfortable. I pull my puffy comforter up to my shoulder. It's too cold in my room to sleep. But I'm mostly kept awake by my own thoughts. I don't even know how I'm feeling.

Things were good. On the quinjet, I was actually... I was actually enjoying myself.

But then I saw her, and just like that everything else was gone.

"Nat." Her voice has caused my stomach to drop. "I knew you would be here."

"Mmm." I could only hum in response.

"I'm glad I caught you. It's good to see you." Her hand was rubbing my arm.

"I miss you." The words fought their way out of me.

"I know." Then she was leaving.

"Bye Maria." I barely had time to get the words out before she was gone.

I messed up. I shouldn't have talked to her again. I shouldn't have lashed out at Quinn.

I hurt her feelings; I can tell I did. Even in the moment.

I sit up and my feet land on the cold hardwood.

Don't Natasha. You'll only make it worse.

But I'm not listening to reason. Instead, I'm walking down the hall to her door. When I reach it, I can't bring myself to knock. Her light is on, I can hear footsteps inside. My fist comes up and taps on her door a few times. I can hear shuffling before her door opens, just barely.

"Hey." She's looking behind her, then she turns and realizes it's me at her door. "Hey?" Her eyebrows are furrowed and eyes wide. But then she collects herself quickly. "Hey."

"Are you alright?" I ask while trying to peak into her room.

She pulls the door less open. "What are- do you need anything?"

"I just wanted..." What exactly do I want? "To talk."

"Right." She nods a couple times before adding, "Can it wait?"

"Yeah, of course." I take in a deep breath.

"Good. Good. Cool. It's just late." Her fingers are tapping against the doors. "Right well..." She closes the door quickly.

I'm left in the dark hallway listening to her pacing steps and watching her lamp stay on.

**

With every word out of Steve's mouth, an indescribable feeling is growing inside me. It is like ice water in my gut, burning my lower ribs. It was beginning to be very annoying.

Steve was explaining that we're on watch. The same group that we fought just a couple days ago is resurfacing. We'll need to move fast once we find their whereabouts. Whatever group this is, they're good a hiding, too good. With the number of drugs and weapons they're exporting, it should be easy to find them. They're strong too, last time Quinn nearly died two goddamn times in a matter of hours.

The thought of that makes the feeling below my ribs worse. I glance over at her; she's not focused on the meeting. She's playing with her hands, she's nervous.

"I know this will be stressful, but we'll need to rest when we-" I cut off whatever idiotic thing Steve is saying.

"It'll will be difficult." I pull my eyes from Quinn. "So, we can't have any extra risks, we need to pull Quinn."