Chapter 2 - Light In The Dark

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"Why didn't you tell me you were so close to Mariam?", mom asked me on the drive back home.

"Because we aren't close", I grumbled.

"You don't have to be afraid to admit the kiss in front of me. I won't judge you, okay?", she reassured me softly.

"Thanks, mom. But I really didn't kiss her. Can we please just drop the topic?", I pleaded her.

"Fine", she agreed with a sigh, although I was sure that she still had plenty questions.

On the next day at school the atmosphere was depressing. Mariam and Layan were obviously both absent. Ruqayyah and Rania were sending me death glares and everyone else pretended that nothing had happened, except Noaf of course.

During the break she joined me outside on a bench. A heavy silence settled between us as we both did not dare to start a conversation for a while.

"Aren't you going to eat something?", Noaf asked half-way through her meal.

"I'm not really hungry", I mumbled.

"(f/n), I'm sorry, okay?", she proclaimed.

I stayed silent as I did not know what to say.

"The kiss between Mariam and you ..."

I interrupted her: "... was a lie. I've probably been talking more to you than to Mariam."

"You know ... I wouldn't judge you if ..."

"Nothing ever happened between Mariam and me", I interrupted her once again. "But everyone is going to believe that now. I'm the desperate girl who's in love with a psycho and my feelings aren't even reciprocated! Don't get me wrong! I'm not embarrassed because of Mariam or anything. I just hate that everyone believes Layan's lies", I enlightened her. "And you should stay away from me as well. Otherwise the next rumor's going to spread and you don't wanna be part of that" I advised her.

"You did exactly what I wanted to do. But I didn't because I didn't have the courage to. That I stayed silent was wrong. It would be even worse to avoid you now because of some stupid rumors", Noaf clarified.

I granted myself a moment to let her words sink in before responding: "Are you sure? If you just want to play the nice girl now, please spare me. I can't stand any more lies and empty words."

"I'm sure. Back at my old school I usually got into trouble for standing up for others. That's who I truly wanna be", she declared with a soft smile.

"Alright then", I agreed and offered her a smile.

At least the situation also had a bright side now. Without the brutal incident Noaf and I would not have started spending all breaks together and helping each other out with school stuff.

But I got reminded of my actions when Layan returned to school. Together with Rania and Ruqayyah she quickly spread more rumors about me and I got some great nicknames like 'lesbo maniac' and 'desperate bitch'.

"They dunno what they're talking about. Their words don't have any meaning. They're just lying", Noaf intended to comfort me as we were sitting under a tree during break.

"I can't ..."

"I know it's hard, but you've to remind yourself that they're only gossiping."

"But they aren't, Noaf", I confessed. "I didn't kiss Mariam, but I do like girls", I added quietly to make sure no one else would hear me.

"Oh", she responded.

I did not take her reaction negatively because she had already stated that she would not judge me if I had kissed Mariam.

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