Home is a Four Letter Word

chapter fifty-three

Early July

The diner booth wasn't necessarily uncomfortable. Jake had found a relaxing refuge in them many times after a long day of work, but after three hours of sitting in the same spot, he was trying his damndest to look like his back didn't ache and his elbows weren't sore from leaning on the table. At one point, he tried offering his help to the girls up front to see if any of them needed menus cleaned or silverware sorted, but all of them refused his help with a courteous smile and sent him back to his table in the corner. He felt like McKenna's child waiting for her to get off of work; it would have been just a suiting to have a coloring page in front of him instead of her phone. Its clear sparkly case was obviously not his, and he wondered how many people had been staring at him throughout the night wondering what the hell he was doing with it.

But she still had two hours left, and Jake was already halfway through his fourth episode of Riverdale. He told himself he would never watch it unless he was six feet under, but it was the first thing that came up on her Netflix, and Jake needed an escape from his own drama. What better way to do that than to indulge in someone else's, right?

In some ways, it didn't help. Cole Sprouse's character reminded him a bit too much of Connor. Every time his character appeared on screen Jake thought for a second that they must have been related. Maybe somewhere out there he had some long lost cousins that he didn't know about. Perhaps on his dad's side. He always said his mom's family hated him for looking too much like his father, maybe his father was related to them somehow. Jake wondered if Connor even knew his father's name—if he could even find him if he wanted to. If he wanted to. Jake knew he didn't, but his mind wandered down the rabbit hole anyway.

The phone buzzed and shook him out of his trance, directing his eyes to a text that popped up on the top of the screen. It took him a moment to adjust to how McKenna had labeled her contacts, but once he understood that the cat emoji stood for Katherine aka 'Kat,' seeing Aaron's name in the contents became a little less alarming.

aaron is up my ass worried about your brother. can you ask him if he's eating? aaron thinks he's—

The message cut off at the end of the notification. Jake wished he could read the rest, but he knew if he clicked on the message it would show he read it and then he would have to explain to McKenna why he was going through her phone. It didn't stop him from thinking about what that meant. What had Aaron told Katherine? He had promised Jake he wouldn't tell her anything, but Katherine had to know something was up if she would text McKenna to see if he was okay. Not only okay, but eating. He hadn't known that Aaron ever caught on to that. It brought a blush to his face in embarrassment.

Jake tended to starve his feelings. He did it right before big games when the anticipation was too much, he did it at lunch when he had a presentation the next period so the nerves wouldn't get to him, he did it when he was excited and his stomach ran in knots, and he did it when he was sad. Aaron knew he had lied when he told him he would eat the pizza he brought him yesterday. He refused to eat it in front of him, and Jake knew now that was where he made his mistake. He supposed he had never quite given Aaron the credit he deserved. He's smarter than you think.

He laid the phone down flat on the table, listening to the background noise of characters talking in his ears as he rubbed his hands over his face exhaustedly. At this point he was ready to fall asleep if it wouldn't have meant McKenna throwing straws at him whenever she passed his table. He took a deep breath, letting his fingers try to smooth down the wrinkles on his forehead etched in by trying to keep his eyes open. Distracted, he hadn't noticed the shadow on the ground from the person standing at the booth in front of him until their voice said: "You look like shit."