For Jakob

11: tear the world apart

E L E V E N

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Callan's POV

I heard muffled voices as I came to.

There was a ringing in my ears, and a dull ache in my head as I blinked my eyes open.

The sunlight hit my eyes and I had to scrunch them up again, letting out a groan as I shifted around on whatever I was laying on.

"She's awake!" my mother shouted from God knows where and I groaned louder, reaching a shaking hand up to rub my forehead.

I winced as I shifted again, trying to sit up, but my movements were lethargic.

I didn't have to try on my own for much longer because through my bleary vision, I saw a large figure crouch by me.

I felt a strong hand on my waist, guiding me as I sat upwards. I blinked my eyes again until my vision cleared enough to see the pools of gold that stared back at me.

His eyes were concerned and slightly angry as he looked at me.

"Callie, drink," I looked behind him at Essie who was holding a glass of water.

I reached forwards with shaking hands, but he beat me to it, grabbing the glass and bringing it up to my mouth.

He tilted it up, and I placed my own shaky hands on top of his as I sipped.

When my throat didn't feel like sandpaper anymore, he moved the glass away.

I sat up straighter, looking at the troubled faces of my family.

"Oh Callan," my mom whispered, tears streaming down her face as she bounded forwards to hug me.

I felt him move away, giving my mother more room as she sobbed. I held my back my own tears, scrunching my eyes shut and burying my face into her neck.

She pulled away after a few minutes as my dad took a seat beside me.

I leaned my head on his shoulder, unable to look at the worry or the lines of anger on his face.

With my eyes downcast, I felt my dad shift before he spoke gently, "Why didn't you tell anyone Cal?"

I swallowed, playing with the fabric of my sleeves, "I-I d-don't know," my voice was small and scratchy.

"I w-wish I had a g-good reason f-for not telling anyone but I don't know," I said honestly, feeling incredibly stupid and embarrassed, "I w-was just scared. I t-thought it was nothing at first and t-then e-everything got busy and I i-ignored it. I also..." I paused, looking around the room, "I didn't want t-to put anyone in danger. I c-couldn't bring y-you all into this. I-I'm sorry," I finished, feeling the tears cascading down my cheeks.

"Don't apologize."

I looked up, hearing multiple voices say the same words.

And of course it made me cry harder.

Because it made me cry when people were being nice to me.

Sue me.

I sobbed and my dad wrapped his arm around me as my mom squeezed my hand.

Once my crying had subsided, I pulled away from the hug, grabbing the tissue that Essie handed to me.

I wiped the snotty mess that was my face, glad that I wore waterproof mascara.