For Jakob

31: easy

T H I R T Y - O N E

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Callan's POV

The sound of a heart beating rhythmically under my cheek is what roused me from my sleep.

As I blinked my eyes open, I saw the sunlight filtering in through the dark curtains in front of the windows.

I lay with my eyes open, the sound of his heartbeat almost lulling me back to sleep.

My thoughts drifted to the conversation we had last night.

I hadn't known what to expect when he began telling me about his past. I hadn't expected us to talk about it at all last night.

There had been moments leading up to the previous night where it was as though I had seen the ghost of his past flash through his eyes.

He was very skilled at schooling his features, so whatever I saw was erased almost immediately.

But it had been there nonetheless.

Hearing about his Aunt, his Ma, broke my heart. Though I could understand the loss of a loved one, especially to have them die in your arms, I could never even begin to comprehend the violence that he saw her face.

The sorrow had soon turned into a visceral anger that took my entire body by storm.

I had tried to keep it concealed; I didn't want my emotions clouding his, nor did I want to take away from the severity of what he was saying.

But I couldn't help it.

I hadn't ever felt anger so physically before.

Every ounce of my being was itching to find a way to make her pay.

Though I suppose violence was never the answer, and any harm to her could never make up for the harm she had caused, I couldn't help but want to hurt that monster.

I had calmed myself down so that I could tell him that I was there for him.

That we could move forwards at his pace.

I just wanted him to be okay.

Nothing mattered more than that.

And as I lay on his chest, the morning light cascading all over us, I knew that I meant it with everything in me.

He had worked so hard to make sure that I was okay, that I felt safe. And despite the danger of before being alleviated, he continued to do so.

I knew that I wanted to give him that stability as well.

I cared so much for him; I couldn't even begin to put my feelings into words.

Well I could.

But that was besides the point.

My heart rate picked up, and I discreetly tried to exhale.

I didn't know if he was awake yet or not, I hadn't felt him move from my position on top of him.

On top of him.

The significance of this position had only registered to me as he told me his past last night.

It left a fuzzy feeling in my heart.

I just hoped that I could always provide him with comfort and safety the way that he did for me.

His body was warm under mine, and it took everything in me to not bury myself further into that warmth.

And the muscles.