DEAR YOU [Part 2]

Chapter 17

Coraline

The hallways of the school shined bright with decoration as I walked to my class. The winter school dance.

Everybody around me gleamed with joy and I saw around every corner a proposal. What is the big deal I always thought to myself, what is the meaning behind a school dance. To celebrate? Celebrate what? The fact that more than half of these kids have grown to be bullies and the rest have grown to accept the latter fact. That half of these kids have no future and the rest want to kill themselves. I couldn’t even begin to want to attend but the appearances I have to make in order to not be seen is beginning to tire out so I decide not to attend, not to celebrate life because I don’t want to.

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I entered the class to see that the class had already begun.

“Cora please be on time, the world doesn’t revolve around you.”

I glanced at Mark sitting on the second last seat. The last time we talked, we fought actually. And there is not many things I regret or care enough to regret but now, after a week, maybe I could have done things differently.
I catered all the joy in me and smiled a weak smile at him but he ignored, as expected. What was I thinking, its better if I go back to not caring.
I made my way to the opposite seat and sat down.

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“Hi honey. I wanted to ask, what are we wearing to the dance?” Emma cut in front of me on the line to the cafeteria. 

“Uhm about that. I don’t think I’ll go.” I took a step back as she looked at me disappointingly with creases on her forehead.

“What do you mean not going. Gee Cora, this is a lot of attention even for you.”

Attention? How is this asking for attention? What do I have to say or scream to make them understand I don’t need their attention. I didn’t care anymore, do hell with friendships. I walked right out of the cafeteria without saying more, withot explaining again and again why I am doing what I am doing. I don’t owe this shitty life to anyone.

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There I was standing alone again. Its not that I don’t like being alone, although it is scary sometimes.
I have gotten used to Mark too much and that is what happens when I trust people, they prove not to be worthy.
I slunged my bag and sat down on the floor, my head resting on the cold, steel lockers.

“Hey stranger.” I looked up and saw mark sitting beside me, two sandwiches in his hands.

He offered me one, “I thought you might be hungry.”

“Thanks.” As much as I hate to admit that I need people, I needed him. I needed at least one friendship worth having.

“I just wanted to say,I am sorry.” He looked at his feet as he apologized, his head heavy of guilt.

“I am sorry too. I shouldn’t have been such a douchebag.”

“Then we are both sorry, I guess that’s cool?”

“Its cool.” I punched his arm weakly.

It felt good having someone to talk to again. Maybe it is time I bring my walls down, maybe just a bit?

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