Night of Secrets (Night of Secrets #1)

Chapter 15 - Letting It Out

I end up walking towards the diner. It's only a little past eleven, so Mira should still be there. She'll know what to do. She always does. She has to this time because I clearly don't know what I'm doing.

I'm about a block away from the diner when I hear an engine approaching me. I hold my breath. Worst case scenario, I'm about to get kidnapped. Best case scenario - maybe - it's Jax. But I'm not that lucky. I never am because it's worse than a kidnapper. When I turn around, I see Dean's car pull up beside me. Great... Just what I needed...

"Finally." Faye gets out of the passenger seat, slamming the door behind her. Dean and Cyril follow suit. Faye stands right in front of me, cocking her head to the side. "We've been looking all over for you. Are you finally done throwing a tantrum? Can we actually talk now, so you can apologize?"

"Cyril told us about your conversation," Dean adds, a trace of a smirk on his face. "And Faye told us about the letters." His smirk disappears. "What's that about, Adeline? Is that really what you do to your friends?"

I shove my hands in my hoodie pocket to hide the fact that they're shaking. But even if my hands are shaking, I feel weirdly steady on the inside. Almost like I'm not even really here. I'm just watching myself.

"No," I find myself saying. "Not to my friends."

"Then why'd you do it?" Dean asks.

He takes a step closer. I can smell the alcohol on him. It's not as bad as it was at the beach, but I definitely wouldn't call him sober.

I match him glare for glare. "Because we're not friends, Dean. Catch up."

"What do you mean we're not friends?" Cyril asks.

I scoff. "I think you know what I mean."

They stare at me, making me laugh. Where is this coming from? Oh, right: my night with Jax. Despite what he said at the playground, he said a lot of other things that made sense tonight. Things that are giving me enough courage to act like this towards my so-called friends. Being more than a little pissed helps, too.

A strange calm blankets the anger, but it's still there simmering beneath the surface. It's enough to bring me back to myself, so I have a little more conscious control over what I'm saying and doing.

"I'm not taking back anything I said in my letters," I say. "Or anything I just said to you guys here or at the beach."

"What you said was fucked up," Faye argues. She gives me that blank look, and for a split second, it actually dampens my anger with fear. "How can you be that awful to your friends?"

How can I--? No. Not right now. I'm not letting her do this to me again. I straighten, looking Faye in the eyes as I say, "You know I've been asking the same question about you guys almost all night. And now you know how I've felt about everything you guys have said and done for the last three years."

"And what exactly did we do?" Dean taunts.

In response, I take out my letters and toss all of them in the air. They flutter around Dean, Faye, and Cyril before settling at their feet. I give them a sarcastic smile. "Happy reading."

I turn away to head to the diner. Cyril calls my name. "Where are you going?"

"You can't just leave without an explanation," Faye adds.

I pause and turn around. "Okay. Here's an explanation: I'm tired of all your fucking bullshit." The calmness is practically yanked off of me, letting the anger flare up. Three years' worth of it. I walk back to them, turning to Dean first. "You act like you're this gift from god, and I'm fucking tired of your manipulation and your gaslighting. I didn't need to feel insane and like everything was my fault when you--" I jab a finger at his chest "--were the one that was always getting me in trouble and always making me feel bad. And I definitely didn't need to take the blame for all your bullshit or feel so worthless. I'm not about to go through all that again my senior year."