Falling Apart

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As Jace comforts me and I relax back into his side, Sebastian runs down the stairs. Shirtless and with ruffled hair he's holding a sword and looks around the room crazily. "Are you okay Clarissa??" He asks while still looking around the room wielding his sword, "what's the trouble??" I am so touched and warmed by the fact that he has awoken from his nap just to be sure I am okay. "All is fine, brother," I say as I lay a reassuring hand on his arm, "il just had a nighmare. Tis over now, you may resume your rest if you wish.. altho i do believe I may be starting dinner soon." For a moment we just stand there, enjoying each others presence, me staring into his endless black eyes. We stand like this for a few minutes until I hear Jace clear his throat, i realize I need to be more careful, lest Jace figure out our secret. "I do belive dinner sounds great, altho I'm not quite hungry yet," Sebastian says with a careful, calculated voice, it's obvious he's trying not to show emotion. "I agree," I start " I do believe I will retire to my room, for a short nap before I begone dinner." As Jace begins to follow me i add with a breaking heart, "Alone Jace, i need some time to myself... i cannot sleep with you tossing and turning like you do." I look away before I can see the hurt flashing in his eyes and the thinly veiled victory in Sebastians as he says, "yes, i do believe I will lie down for a little while longer also." Jace looks so upset that it actaully hurts me, "are you sure you want to sleep alone Clary?" He asks with a wavering voice. "Yes, Jace. I can sleep alone, I'm not a mere child." I state as I practically stomp up the stairs, trying to get away before I hear his response, but I'm not quick enough."I just want to protect you Clary." I hear him whisper quietly. I meet Sebastian outside his bedroom, where we always meet. I've already locked my room before closing the door, so that if Jace cokes it seems I am there with the door locked. Sebastian pulls me gently into his room and closes and locks the door, i know his gentleness won't last long tho, it never does. He's a rough person, but that's part of what I love so much about him. On the contrary of what Jace thinks, i don't like to be treated like glass, i want someone who knows i wont break and that's exactly Sebastian. He starts his radio off low, that way our words are not over heard. Sebastian pulls his shirt off as he walks towards me and pulls me into his arms and kisses me roughly. Before we kiss for too long, he pulls away and whispers in his raspy voice i love so much, "Clary, you mean so much to me, I love you so much." I push him into the wall and deepen our passionate kiss, for I know he does enjoy it when i am rough back. He puts his hands on my waist and pulls me into him, we are so close now, our very breathes are practically the same. Our heart are beating in the same rythme, this is how I know. I know that even if i wanted to leave, it's impossible, our very souls are intertwined. So as we continue to kiss so ever sweetly, my mind consumed by his being here, my subconscious drifts to my dream.... is it real? Could he really still be capable of that?... or is it just that,a dream?... i always thought I could change him.... i still believe I can, there is still hope, for the Demon Boy.

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