is this what it's supposed to feel like?

Prologue

*trigger warning mentions of sensitive topics such as death and abuse*

Now believe me when I tell you I don't believe in fairytales or true love, or any of that childish bullshit that we teach to our younger generations. I've never given a rat's ass about myths and legends like Eros, the god of love, or the shitty story about soulmates, but there's this one girl, who makes me believe there might just be hope for my broken soul.

I am Aryn Alinsky, a 14-year-old girl with hazel-ish yellow eyes and straight jet black hair that reaches my mid-back. I may not seem like it but I have anxiety in different forms such as separation anxiety and PTSD. Among the anxieties, I also suffer from depression but I guess most of my mental problems come from my childhood. I live in Vancouver, B.C., and I have lived here since I can remember because it's safer for me and my family. It bothers me sometimes that my Mum has never even considered moving, I mean don't get me wrong I want my family to be safe, but I've always wanted to leave. I want to be able to disappear out of my father's reach. We've left the city a few times but it's only ever to see my family who either live in Kamloops or in Golden, so I've never even left the province. I am aware of the reason why though. When my father got locked up in prison after the "incident" we lost our main source of income, as my father had a higher paying job than my mum. She has been struggling to raise me and my brothers Miko who is 9 and Leo who is 16. To help out Leo got a job and I offered to take on babysitting duties for my younger brother so my Mum could easily take on extra hours if necessary. Recovering from my trauma and injuries wasn't easy, especially since I was only 7 when the incident had happened. I'm still a bit mentally fucked up, to say the least, and unlike most kids with a healthy family, I was stripped of my childhood pretty much since the moment I was born. This leads me to why I don't believe in all those shitty princess stories that are only taught to us as children to make sure the world screws them up when they finally grow up. I won't say anything more as of right now besides this. The world isn't meant for the faint of heart.