8 Months After It Happened/Present Times
It was finally Saturday. The day God created for lazy people like me, who don't have a life and all they do is cuddle up in their beds and watch "Netflix" all day. I woke up feeling a bit tired and a headache dancing inside my skull. I try to remember the events of last night and it is almost too easy. I came home drunk again, and went straight to my bed last night. No one was home, and I am not surprised since I live alone. I moved out of my mom's house 8 months ago, when it all happened. Being a dancer, pays well, so I bought a flat at the last floor of the tallest building in London. I woke up properly and took two painkillers and chug them down with water. I do not know what I would do without those pills.
I quickly make my way to the bathroom and heat up the water for a nice hot bath. I go to the drawer in my nightstand and take a couple of candles, so I can light up while bathing. I quickly grab my phone and create a playlist consisting of mostly Taylor Swift, 5SOS and a few grunge songs remembering the good old days. I see steam coming out of the bathroom and I rush in there taking of my clothes in the way. I open up the playlist, connect it to 3 Beats Pills, light the candles and I am good to go. I absolutely adored baths. They are just so relaxing and comforting. I step in and feel my body relax at the heat.
The first song that played was "Begin Again" by Taylor Swift. Oh God I loved this song. It is so accurate of things that have happened in my life and I absolutely relate to it. From him not liking it when I wore high heels to him not finding me funny, but rather annoying. It was like this song was written for me. I sing along the lyrics and get lost in my own little world.
"I've been spending the last eight months thinking all love ever does is break, and burn and end." That was probably the most real thing I could say about myself. Since him, my life has been messier than before. I used to think love didn't exist. Now I believe it exists, but all it does is break, and burn, and end. It took him two fucking months, to make me fall for him, for him to break me, burn everything and end everything. Just by one stupid mistake, he finished me. It was my fault though, I let him in. Oh God, today I was missing him, more than ever, but I needed to forget him.
I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and pick it up without checking the caller ID. "Hey," I hear Mia's voice on the other end of the phone. "Hey Mii, how's it going?" I ask trying to make a conversation. "I should ask you that, or aren't you remembering what today is?" She asks. I try to remember something, but I can't. Then It suddenly hits me. "Mii I gotta go," I say and expect no response I just close my phone and throw it to the wall smashing it. I collapse to the bed. Words can not form into my head, just a lump in my throat and a pain in my heart. I open up my laptop and quickly write down his name.
"Jase Blue."
I debate on whether clicking the search button or not. My mind says no,but my heart has it it's own way. Thousands of articles pop out, but one catches my glance. I click on it and a huge picture of him pops out on the screen.
"HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY JASE BLUE" was written in bold blue at the top of the page. Being a model Jase was pretty well-known. He had a contract with Emporio Armani underwear and I haven't heard of him since. I didn't want to hear and I wouldn't hear. My heart just wanted a look of him. My heart missed him. The dorky, awkward 6ft tall boy who dressed in nothing but skinny black jeans. Who always smelled of vanilla, and always said something to make me feel better, the one who is a part of me.
That Jase Blue is just a memory. I continue to scroll through the articles of him and decide that I've had enough, so I open up "Netflix" and scroll through the limitless amount of movies. I decide on watching "The Deep End Of The Ocean" the movie with Michelle Pfeiffer where they steal her son, because hands down it's my favorite movie. I head to my kitchen and put some popcorns in the microwave. I wait for three minutes until they are done and head back to my bedroom where I continue to watch that movie in the dark for the rest of the morning. Since I woke up really early the movie finished quite early and I still had time to do things I had planned on doing.
