TELL ME WHAT'S WRONG (sakuatsu)

seven:

sakusa

i

t's already 9:30 pm and atsu's still not home yet. i pushed wakatoshi out of our apartment and also komori.

i don't know how to explain to him but i want him to hear me. i want to cuddle him again. i want to kiss him again like i used to do.

i tried calling his phone several times but he turned it off. i don't know where is he right now.

"atsu, where are you?"

i jolted up when i hear the door opened. i run to the door and saw atsu entering our apartment. i smiled at him when our eyes met but he just nod and walk passed me.

i put my hand on my chest because i feel like a knife stab my heart when he walk passed me. i gulp and blink many times to control my tears.

"this is your fault, you have no rights to cry, sakusa!" i said to myself then followed him to the kitchen

"i cooked dinner, atsu! have you eaten?" i asked so he looked at me and then turn his back to face me.

"i'm not hungry."

"but i cooked dinner, baby!"

"i'm not hungry, just eat it!"

"but i cooked it just for you!"

"i see. then i'm giving it to ya now."

i opened my mouth but there's no word that came out. he again walked passed me but before he got too far i pulled him on his wrist.

"atsu?"

"i'm tired, sakusa! let me go already."

i don't know but his words have double meaning. i loosen my grip on his wrist then let him go. he left me in the kitchen.

"i don't want to let you go, atsu! i love you, baby! please come back." i said and all the tears i tried hard to conceal flow down to my cheeks.

i cover my face with my hands and just let myself cry out loud. i don't know if atsu can hear me. i can't lower down my voice even i want to.

our doorbell rings and then someone knocks on our door. i wipe my tears away and came out of the kitchen only to see atsu letting someone inside our apartment.

"sakusa-san? you're here too?" hinata asked when he saw me

"i live here."

"really?" bokuto then asked me

"yeah, because i am his bo—"

"he's my roommate. wait, you're not with tobio-kun and akaashi?" atsu asked them cutting my off

"kageyama is busy practicing."

"akaashi still need to work on his manga. he's so hardworking that's why i love him so much!" bokuto said smiling so wide and he looks so in love

"really? hahaha! i hope to find someone like you, bokkun." atsu said so we all looked at him

"like me?"

"yeah! someone who can support me with everything. someone who can love me and only me."

that hits me. i look away and sit on the sofa next to hinata.

"maybe that someone is just there for you. that someone is just so near at you, right miya-san?" hinata said then side eyed me

"hahaha! where is she?"

"she?" hinata and bokuto asked in unison

"yeah! where is she?"

"isn't sakusa a he?" bokuto asked that made me cough and look at him

"what do you mean, bokuto?" i asked

"yeah, what do ya mean, bokkun? ya think that someone i said i want to have is sakusa?" atsu said with a smirk, he sounds like his usual self

"sakusa? you're calling him omi-omi right?" hinata asked so i just stand up and went in front of our room.

"don't leave anything in our apartment, hinata, bokuto. and miya, we'll talk tomorrow." i said while twisting the doorknob to open

"we have nothing to talk about, sakusa!"

"atsu!"

"enough! not in front of them." atsu said still looking at the tv. "it's getting late, bokkun, shoyo-kun. ya both want to spend the night here?" atsu asked those two with a smile

i miss his smile so much. i miss him so much!

"is it fine?" hinata asked that made atsu nod many times

"we have two rooms. ya both can use my room, the one next to sakusa's room."

"are you sleeping with me tonight, atsu?" i asked so he looked at me with his furrowed eyebrows.

"no, i'm sleeping here at the couch."

"then, we'll go to bed now. goodnight, tsum-tsum and omi." bokuto said so i just nod at him

"good night, miya-san, sakusa-san!"

when the other room's door shut closed i walk near atsu and pull him to a hug. he didn't resist but he also didn't hug me back. i place my head on the crook of his neck.

"i miss you, baby!"

"yeah, whatever!"

"i love you, atsu!"

"let me go or we'll be caught by shoyo-kun or bokkun."

"hug me back, baby! please!"

"let go, sakusa!"

with that my tears are now making his shirt wet. i can't control my tears anymore. i tighten the hug and just let myself cry on his neck.