gabi's drabbles

you make me begin

"lets talk about dreams." they whispered, hands ever so gentle as they brushed through my hair, their breathing slow and comforting.
it was as though they were scared i would break. so slow, so soft and careful in their movements. everytime i felt their fingers brush through the knotted strands, their pauses-afraid to tug too hard, afraid to cause me more pain-my breathing would hitch and i would find my heart pounding a bit faster.
oh how soft it was to be enraptured in their arms. oh how lovely their sweet smell of cinnamon and a freshly done load of laundry.
i found myself wanting to cry once more. i wasn't filled with the sour of hurt, it was the love that was so overwhelming. i didn't have to hurt alone, they were there; and they felt for me. i didn't have to feel then, i was free to be full of only them.
it was exhausting and soothing at the same time. my senses were filled with the soft existence of them. i was drowning.
everything in me was screaming to bring my head above the water, to leave, run before they did. i didn't want to cry alone again, ever. i didn't want them to be the reason i cried alone. i didn't think i'd survive if it was them.
trust was so hard. i was so tired, so weary from constantly running; and here i was, once more, ready to run.
but as their soft breath hit my neck, i froze. no, i would not run. i relaxed in their hold, allowing myself to tear up once more, feeling their arms automatically tighten, as if they were the hot glue holding my broken glassware heart together.
i would not run.
the thought filled my head, the resounding resolution overtaking the fear. they were worth it. if it was for them, i would feel anything. i would brave anything. i could bare the hurt if it meant i got to have them surround me for a little longer.
"darling?"                                                         
i heard their soft tone coo, my lips tugging upwards in the faintest of smiles.                 

"i don't need to dream anymore."                      the sense of finality in my tone only made them melt more, i could feel any and all tenseness in their muscles dissipate, their lips searching for mine for only a second before they met, melded together in a moment one could only describe as a core memory, a proof to past me that i would be alright.