Always- His and Hers

Elephant in the Room

While writing this chapter, I have shed a few tears. I hope the chapter connects to your heart too. 

At the Birla Hospital, the whole family was allowed to stay in the adjacent room. It had been a week since they had been monitoring Akshara. Everyone was distressed, no one was eating properly nor sleeping on time, or knowing what time it was. 

Parth and Manjari brought homemade meals for the Goenkas, "please have some food Maa Ji,"  Manjari requested. "If you don't eat food, you will get unwell, and would you want the family's attention to be split between your health and Akshara's?" With that,  they would all agree to eat some food.

 The worst to feed was Abhimanyu, he had been surviving on coffee and bread, he refused to eat anything.  If it hadn't been clear before, it was crystal clear now, not only to those who doubted but to each and everyone in the family that Abhimanyu, though engaged to Aarohi, was brutally in love with Akshara and none of this arranged marriage mattered as long as his heart was beating for the other daughter.  What pained Manjari was that even when she pleaded, he could only manage to have a bite or two. She refused to force him into doing something he wasn't willing to, she felt, she had pressurized him into this marriage, she wanted to avoid doing anything further.

Doctor Ravish, a neurological specialist, entered the room, along with Dr. Mahima Birla, they took seats to sit.   "We have the reports,"  she said, "the good news is after a week of monitoring, Akshara's respiratory and circulation is fine, we will continue administering glucose and antibiotics. We have had to put her up on  a ventilator as you already know, the surgeries have been successful, it's just that..." She turned towards Dr. Ravish to continue.

Dr. Ravish,  looked at the family members, "The coma is most likely induced due to the injury on this part of the brain," he explained while showing the MRI scan, "but many times, we have seen that even after gaining some consciousness,  the patient is unwilling to come out of it. We have been noticing some activity of the brain..."  just then Abhimanyu entered the room.  He was wearing the doctor's coat, but instead of normal semi-formals, he had bathroom slippers on and the night pajamas. His knuckles were bruised from all the punching. His beard was visible, dark black under eyes,  and his hair was an oily mess, they needed a trim and a wash.   He pulled a chair and sat down, without acknowledging anyone, gesturing to the doctor, "please continue."  

Dr. Ravish, "as I was saying,  we see activity in the brain, we feel she is unwilling like she feels..." he sighed, "normally, in suicide cases, we see survivors who go into a coma and are not possessing the will to live to react this way. I'm unclear what is bothering Akshara that she is responding similarly. We thought this is temporary, but we have been noticing the same pattern and this can be very risky. We could lose her completely"

Abhimanyu bit his lower lip, he wanted to release his anger, but how could he? How could he release his anger on a family already grieving and in pain? If he couldn't understand Akshara,  why should he blame anyone else? He loved her, didn't he?  She was in pain, he inflicted pain on her, but he never wanted it to hurt her mentally, he bit down on his tongue, even the pain he inflicted on himself didn't lessen the pain in his heart. He just wanted her to feel his pain of separation, but maybe his actions had a deeper impact on her.  

Dr. Ravish continued, "Could also be due to some other factor, like past trauma, or maybe psychological reasons? Was she dealing with any problems?"

Bade Papa voiced coarsely, "No, nothing like that. She has been cheerful, she loved music and she was excited about Aarohi's wedding..." 

Dr. Ravish cut him, "See Mr. Goenka, as her family, you might know some things that we doctors are unaware of,  the moment she loses her will to live, you nor I will be able to save her, we are out of time, if I must say this,  I need to know what my patient mental state is,  was she afraid of something," he looked at the other members, "did she have depression, any history of panic attacks, phobias, eating disorders, or heartbreaks. As her doctor, I need to know what is it that even though she has gained some consciousness, she is failing to respond to us. Maybe Aarohi knows," he looked at her with hope, "you are her sister, maybe she has shared something with you?" She shook her head,  he looked at all the members of the family, "maybe her friends know?" When everyone failed to reply, he signed deeply, turning to Dr. Mahima, "last option, maybe prayers might help, then, or as you wanted, try out the music therapy." Dr. Mahima nodded her head and they both stood up, "that's it for now," and they left.  

Abhimanyu looked at the family,  they still had no answers to any of the doctor's questions. They had none of his, he was willing to bear, but why did they fail at answering to the doctor.  He wanted to yell, wanted to shout on top of his lungs. But all he knew, he had already told Dr. Ravish.  Three days back when Dr. Ravish had told him about Akshara's state, Abhimanyu had spent no time-wasting and told him about her panic attacks, the reason he still didn't know, and about her mental state, she was leaving her love for him for her sister's sake.  It was evident from her eyes and actions that she loved him too. Abhimanyu stood up,  pushing the chair to the other side of the room,  without looking at anyone in particular,  he wore his wireless headphones and stormed out of the door.  Manjari and Parth quietly walked out behind him,  hoping to feed him some food.  

Kairav finally broke the silence, "there are some problems," he looked at each family member, his red eyes, the last week had been very tough on him, " yes, which we all ignored or pretended did not exist.  It's just that they might be the elephant in the room, but it's my sister's life at stake and I will talk about it. Around twelve years ago,  Sirat ma had died and since then,  Akshu's relationship with  Aarohi changed!" He looked at Aarohi, with anger now, "Aarohi blamed her for Sirat Ma's death, when she and everyone here knows, it was an accident!" His voice got louder, "You talk about logic right, Aarohi? There is a logic behind this?" Aarohi was startled.  "So according to your logic, Akshara's this state should be blamed on you," he pointed his finger at her, "right?" He genuinely waited for her to reply, "after all,  why was she leaving for Dehradun right after your engagement ceremony?"  Aarohi shook her head in confusion, but Kairav didn't let her speak, "Wait! There is more; she has had panic attacks ever since YOU blamed her for Sirat Ma's accident, am I wrong? And from that logic," he looked at his family, "she is in a coma because of Aarohi! Now tell me something Aaru, how will you live with this for the next few years that Akshara,  my sister, is in a coma because of you!" Aarohi shook her head, she had been feeling bad that Akshara was in the hospital, worst in a coma, but this touched somewhere deeper, Kairav resumed, "three years ago, she left the Goenka House because of you. She didn't have to leave, she left because of you SO that you could live with the family peacefully." Aarohi opened her mouth to refute, but Kairav didn't let her, "I'm not done yet, why did she have to leave the family? Why didn't you go?  None of us blame Akshara for Sirat ma's death, you did!   We love her," his voice cracked, " and today, after knowing that we love her, and all this while, she was waiting for your love," he shouted at Aarohi, louder than he ever has. Vansh came to stand by Kairav, "Kairav, you will regret...."  Kairav shook his head, "I will not! All Akshu wanted was to have her sister love her back, she wanted you to forgive her for a crime she NEVER COMMITTED! You blame her for Sirat Ma!  So with that logic,  I blame you for hurting my sister, for not loving my sister while all this time, she just wanted you to love and care for her." He removed his glasses,"  Vansh took them and wiped them clean, "and shame on us, as a family, we failed to see her feelings, failed to talk to her about her emotions, failed to ask her, if she was okay, we failed to see her swollen eyes, just because Akshu was smiling and dressing up didn't mean she was happy in life.  She stayed cheerful so that we could all smile and laugh, Akshu was hiding her pain away from us and none of us bothered to understand her, we failed," He cried, "she was lonely, so lonely, and we failed to understand her." Vansh tried calming him down by patting on his back and holding him, "lastly," he gulped, "Abhimanyu..." he thought if he ought to bring him or not, but he knew, this was the first and the last time he was going to confront Aarohi and he must do so, "Abhimanyu loves Akshu." He clear his throat, "...and Akshara knew that felt that loved him,"  the family looked at Kairav with shock, he pleaded everyone to believe him, "BUT,"  he looked at Aarohi, "she let him go for you. Only and only wishing that she would give you this happiness, her love, and her happiness, and in turn, get her sister's love. She wanted you to be happy..."  He wiped his tears, wore his glasses, sobbing, " and what did you do?" He shook his head, "you don't deserve Akshu, you don't deserve an elder sister. And if Papa, mama, and Sirat ma would have been here, they would have been very disappointed by all of us. We failed as a family and the result is Akshara doesn't want to come back to us.."

He turned around defeated and stepped out of the room.  His head throbbing, his hands shaking and the fear of losing his sister ached his heart like never before. 

This chapter is my favorite so far, I hope you have some worthy points to comment! 

Don't forget to VOTE and COMMENT, the more I receive, the faster I'll manage to type it up!  ;)