This Is My Life ; With Colby Brock

Part 40:// Don't Go

I got under my big comforters, not able to stop the tears. They started falling down my face, fast. I was having a mental breakdown. I kept crying uncontrollably. I grabbed one of my pillows and put it over my mouth so i can silence my cries but it wasn't working all that well.

After about 20 minutes, I heard footsteps come up the stairs and closer and closer to my bedroom door. I quickly tried to wipe my tears and shifted my body to kind of cover my face so it's not visible that i was crying. Except it still was. Colby walked in the bedroom and got closer to the bed.

"Hey mama, you okay?" Colby asked

I ignored him

"Baby i know you're not sleeping. You never fall asleep this fast, even when you're exhausted." Colby said. It's crazy how he knows the smallest things about me.

I slowly sat up on my bed, uncovering my face.

"Baby? We're you crying? Your eyes are red and puffy" Colby asked me, kindly but concerned.

"Yeah.." i replied.

"Come here my love".

I got off my bed carefully. He grabbed me gently abs pulled me closer to him. He wrapped his arms around me, squeezing me. I rested my head on his chest since he was that much taller than me. I wrapped my arms around his body tightly trying not to cry. But i did. I started crying uncontrollably again and i couldn't stop it.

"Woahh baby are youu okay? What's going on. talk to me" Colby said as he pulled me away and for on the bed under the covers. He patted the bed next to him, signaling for me to sit there.

"Colby, you have never left the state since we have been together. I know this is your job and this is what you do but i can't be here alone. I don't feel safe or protected. I feel like i'm vulnerable for whatever is bound to happen" i choked out, sobbing. He put is arm around me and pulled me closer so my head is on his shoulder.

"Baby. It's only 2 days. It's for one night. We're leaving friday afternoon, staying the night and leaving saturday evening and i will be right back here saturday. We're going to be safe and careful. And i'm sure Billie and Kat will stay with youu mama" Colby said, squeezing me. He knows i'm not only worried about being alone, but worried about him, Sam and Jake because they act like they have 100 lives and are a bit reckless sometimes.

"And i will text youu while i can and i'll call you before you go to bed. Everything will be okay mama. I'll be back before you know it" he said while carefully grabbing my chin to have me look up at him.

"Okay, i'll try to deal with it. I just don't want you to go. We finally live together and you going out of state feels like you're moving out" i sighed

"Baby, i will be back as soon as i can be. It's okay. I'm not leaving you. I love living here with you and everyone else. This place feels like home now that we're living together" he smiled

We talked about it for a little while after. I finally told him i would be okay but i would miss him a lot. We have grown so close that i have separation anxiety since we haven't been this far from each other since we got together but i know that this is what he has to do. This is his job, this is who he is, this is what he loves to do, this is his life.

~~~

After we were talking more about the trip, he laid back down and gently pulled me on the bed to lay with him. We decided to watch movies just to spend time with each other one on one.

After a couple of movies, i felt myself get tired. I forced myself to stay up but i knew it wouldn't last too long. i turned to my side, facing my bedroom door. Colby turned and wrapped his arm around my body and pulled me in closer to him. This right here, this is what makes me feel safe and protected. This is where i belong.

~~~

A/N: i'm sorry for the short chapter :(