DON'T BLAME ME! (p. jackson) (#2) (ON HOLD)

- twenty two

PERCY HAD HIS PLANNING FACE ON.

"fine!" percy shouted, so loudly that he got everyone's attention. "take us away, if our captain will let you."

chrysaor turned his golden mask. "what captain? my men searched the ship. there is no one else."

percy raised his hands dramatically. "the god appears only when he wishes. but he is our leader. he runs our camp for demigods. doesn't he, annabeth?"

annabeth was quick. "yes!" she nodded enthusiastically. "mr. d! the great dionysus!"

a ripple of uneasiness passed through the dolphin-men. one dropped his sword.

"stand fast!" chrysaor bellowed. "there is no god on this ship. they are trying to scare you."

"you should be scared!" percy looked at the pirate crew with sympathy. "dionysus will be severely cranky with you for having delayed our voyage. he will punish all of us. didn't you notice the girls falling into the wine god's madness?"

hazel and piper had stopped the shaking fits. they were sitting on the deck, staring at percy, but when he glared at them pointedly, they started hamming it up again, trembling and flopping around like fish. the dolphin-men fell over themselves trying to get away from their captives.

"fakes!" chrysaor roared. "shut up, percy jackson. your camp director is not here. he was recalled to olympus. this is common knowledge."

"so you admit dionysus is our director!" percy said.

"he was," chrysaor corrected. "everyone knows that."

percy gestured at the golden warrior like he'd just betrayed himself. "you see? we are doomed. if you don't believe me, let's check the ice chest!"

percy stormed over to the magical cooler. no one tried to stop him. rose knew what he was looking for. she prayed there was one in there.

percy was rewarded with a silver-and-red can of soda. he brandished it at the dolphin warriors as if spraying them with bug repellent.

"behold!" percy shouted. "the god's chosen beverage. tremble before the horror of diet coke!"

the dolphin-men began to panic. they were on the edge of retreat. rose could feel it.

"the god will take your ship," percy warned. "he will finish your transformation into dolphins, or make you insane, or transform you into insane dolphins! your only hope is to swim away now, quickly!"

"ridiculous!" chrysaor's voice turned shrill. he didn't seem sure where to level his sword—at percy or his own crew.

"save yourselves!" percy warned. "it is too late for us!"

then he gasped and pointed to the spot where frank was hiding. "oh, no! frank is turning into a crazy dolphin!"

nothing happened.

"i said," percy repeated, "frank is turning into a crazy dolphin!"

frank stumbled out of nowhere, making a big show of grabbing his throat. "oh, no," he said, like he was reading from a teleprompter. "i am turning into a crazy dolphin."

he began to change, his nose elongating into a snout, his skin becoming sleek and gray. he fell to the deck as a dolphin, his tail thumping against the boards.

the pirate crew disbanded in terror, chattering and clicking as they dropped their weapons, forgot the captives, ignored chrysaor's orders, and jumped overboard. in the confusion, rose and annabeth moved quickly to cut the bonds on hazel, piper, and coach hedge.