Unloading Trauma

I Once Had This Friend

I once had this friend.

I met this friend from bus stops to school, at events at her school and took joy in her presence, for I had finally made a connection outside of my bubble.

I thought this person would always be a friend.

Close enough to trust with secrets, and have her secrets trusted with me.

Sure. I was told secrets, but secrets told to her were quickly discovered by our brand new school population, from which she went and spoke of things private to those whom trusted her.

I grew to dislike this friend. I had known this person for a year or so when things started to sour from my end.

Then I met someone new.

Someone whom I had never met talked to me. I was trusted with a strangers anxiety about this new place of learning.

This was a good feeling. It was refreshing.

I made a very bad mistake.

I had been helping this new person with buses and whatnot, the coincidence of catching the same route was exciting

In a moment of desperation to find a new bus had me going to this friend.

At the time I was not bitter about this friend. Only small inklings of doubt were in my mind.

I introduced these people

They hit it off.

Slowly but surely this person who I was with every day was distant with me. It hurt, but I learned to accept that this was a normal thing.

The friend and this person only grew closer.

Their first big fight was eventful.

Both suddenly had started to talk with me more and more, asking me advice or just simply enjoying each others presence.

I had voiced my frustration with the friend I had once had with this new person, and I was told of their frustrations about them in turn.

Then suddenly everything was fine.

They were friends again, and I was promptly disposed of.

This happened many, many times.

Until I decided it wasn't worth it to try and keep a friendship with either.

I just stop trying to talk with them.

If they wanted to be friends then they would have to put in the effort.

I'm still not as close or as comfortable with these people as I once was.

It's disappointing really. I had felt a connection with both. I had shared my deepest secrets and I was told theirs.

People are hard to understand