Why do people fall in love? Is it chance, fate, or some other none related factor? It's something that stays on my mind a lot. Some people ask what love is but that's a question I know the answer to. Love is where you would do anything for a person, when no matter what they do you can't get them off your mind and can't help to forgive them no matter how messed up what they do is. They hurt and break you and shatter you to pieces and leave you wondering why you love them. Why no matter what happens you can't get them off your mind. It kills you and slowly festers into a slowly burning fire where you can't exactly get them out of your head but you hate the idea of letting them close again because they might try to hurt you if you let them in. Let them know how you feel. That's what happened last time, right? Yet you still want this person in your life, you still want them to hold you close and to never let go. Love is where you feel a connection with the person and go with it. Where when you see each other your heart flutters and sends butterflies to your stomach. When you put your trust in this person and they put their trust in you but eventually they start pulling at your heartstrings. They start to lie, and manipulate until you don't know what is real or what is fake. They make it where you don't know who you are or how you feel due to the fact you based your entire life off of them. Make you forget your inspirations and who you desire away. What is love? It's when you would throw your whole life away so that someone, just someone might care. It's not like they ever do though. So tell me please, why do we love if it hurts so much? Why do we put ourselves through the pain?
The first and only time I fell for someone, it ended in despair. We met in forth grade. My little lover boy and me. He had a way with word and not the best looks at the time but just seeing him smile, seeing him happy, it was the light at the end of the tunnel so to say. He broke up with me right after my birthday. Accused me of cheating despite him being the only person I talk to. I tired to fix our friendship after but we barely talked. Fifth grade came and went and so did friends. We ended up going to the fifth grade dance together but hung around this other girl he liked the entire time. We stopped speaking until seventh grade where we because friends again, best friends even. On May 5th we decided to get back together. It was the happiest I was in a long time, we were a strong, non-toxic couple at first. When you would look at us and just see how happy we were. He took my first kiss, and I loved it. He set off fireworks in my. I felt alive, I felt so happy and I never wanted it to end. He had other things in mind. He almost cheated on me over the summer with someone at his brothers house. I don't know why I forgave him. It hurt, it killed me. I loved him and he just threw away all of that. He would've done it if he didn't remember me. He made me second guess all my decision, then in eight grade he developed feelings for a different person. She was one of my friends and he fell and forgot about me. So one day before our 5 month anniversary he left. I was crying all that day. I couldn't get over the fact I just lost the love of my life for a second time. Not even second, this was at least the fifth time I lost him. We still stayed friends but got to talking less and left. I didn't want to see his face yet wanted to wake up and to be told it was all just a bad dream. I guess I'm still kinda waiting to wake up. I miss him, I love him. He was the thing the kept me strong. I guess all good things must come to an end. I wish I could just forget all about him but I still get butterflies when I look him in the eyes and I still feel fireworks every time he smiles and no matter how my I want to ignore the feeling I just can't. It's unbearable. I don't to admit that I'm still in love with him after 4 years, that I haven't been able to get him out of my mind. I hate it. So what is love? Why do we love? Why do I love him after all that he put me through?
~Mystery Enby
(Word count 838)
YOU ARE READING
The Life of Anonymous
RandomStories of love, heart break, friendships, all throughout Mystery Enbys life. Come with them as they try to figure out who they are and what they desire from this world.
