𝘒𝘐𝘓𝘓𝘑𝘖𝘠𝘡

𝘏𝘐𝘚 𝘛𝘌𝘔𝘗𝘛𝘈𝘛𝘐𝘖𝘕

RAKIM MYERS,19
↳ HAROLD KING HOSPITAL, THE BRONX,
NY
⌚︎: SOMETIME IN THE 90'S, 10:00AM

"heyyy ma" i walked into my mothers hospital room holding up a bag of her favorite food. it was just a lil sumn from the chinese food joint nun too extravagant but she couldn't have it too often so i know it must have felt like it was. she smiled at me holding her arms out weakly as i embraced her holding her tightly. "my ra baby" she kissed me on the forehead "awww i see you with your hair together finally" she joked as i put the bags done pulling up a chair next to her.

"yeah my friend did it, im glad to see you like it."

"well even without cancer i couldn't do your hair forever, you got jesus hair boy"

i snickered. she was always so bubbly even in her worst times she always had a lil joke to make about something or someone or even herself.

"yo what? what's jesus hair mama"

"coarse as wool" she slapped her knee sitting up moving her table in front of her so she could eat. "ooo when i get out this damn place imma get me some braids too" i sighed handing her a fork and one of the boxes of rice. she was at stage 3 breast cancer, not the worst stage but still bad. we caught it early but not early enough. she could get surgery but neither me or darold had enough money yet to get it, and her insurance just wasn't shit.

"i'll see if my friend could do it, she owe me a couple favors anyway"

"boy be quiet" she turned up her tv louder "tryna watch my damn shows." it was probably the sopranos or some corny shit like that. it wasn't for me but she loved it, she said there was no need for there to be drama in her real life if she could watch it go down on tv. "yeah yeah" i mumbled my pager beeping making me roll my eyes. i told niggas before 12 im busy. niggas can't have one damn day to themselves i swear. "i'll see you later ma" i kissed her on her forehead and stepped out to the phone booth in the hallway slipping some change in and calling alexis.

"hey" she said once she picked up sounding a lil shaken up

"hey you good?

"rakim they just came and sprayed the whole fucking block" she sniffled "it was fucking kids playing outside— kids"

"man fuck— everybody good?"

"i think somebody got hit...but none of my peoples got hit they out right now. can you come over? they finna put the neighborhood on lock and ion wanna be by myself" she whimpered like a little kid. i mumbled "yeah" in response and hung up, damn near running downstairs to my car. why she pick me to be with her out of all people? she got mad family so why me? why i gotta be the safe haven?

i huffed racing down the streets, seeing the helicopters fly ahead. it was broad daylight and them niggas still got away. can't even lie, a little respect is due there. but then its taken away when you do a drive-by where some kids are obviously playing and possibly shoot one. i swear niggas had no strategy when it came to shit like that.

i pulled up in front of her apartment coming in through the fire escape as per usual. the window wide open for me to come in, i closed it behind me and sighed. alexis was sitting on her bed, the room dark except for the glimpses of sun light coming in through the fire escape exit, which was quickly covered up by the curtain by alexis.

"i bet they were looking for me." she gulped as i turned on the desk lamp. "ay...maybe but you can't sit and think about shit like that" i sat next to her pulling her close to me, her skin was hot to the touch. i could tell she was terrified. "and now some kid is probably dead or hurt or paralyzed" i rubbed her head, i wasn't good at comforting it's just all bitches seemed to like the same shit when they were sad. "bullets don't got names onnem lex. don't beat yourself up about it for real"

"i just be feeling like a walking target"

"you probably are. but so am i. you gotta get used to it, cause i been shot at more times than i count but you gotta just keep carrying on"

"i can't get used to that"

i flicked her on her forehead.

"well tough shit nigga you put your self in this position"

"nigga this ain't my first drive by" she pushed me off of her "it don't matter who the bullets were meant for the shit still scary"

"i feel you" i took a blunt out my pocket and held it out to her. "what you gon do about it?"

"niggaaa" she started smiling, her nice pearly whites flashing at me. "imma move the fuck out this bitch and move to fucking— canada...but imma still support my hoods...from afar" i nodded sparking it up and passing it to her, she needed it more than me. "well shit, soon as i get my shit straight everybody eating." i said knowing damn well i was lying. i want everybody to eat but the way my money set up right now it'd take too long.

and it's fast cash over long money any day.

"and im getting the fuck outta here too move to atlanta or sumn tho"

alexis took a deep hit, relaxation immediately settling in on her body. "you lying like shit" she passed it to me chuckling. "you ain't gots to lie rakim" i rolled my eyes shoving her playfully. "im not lying— well kinda. jus think of it as what i would do in a perfect world shit like that." she nodded. "i think in a perfect world we'd meet under different circumstances, and we'd be a little more nicer to each other"

"girl what you mean im already nice to you, i let you hit my blunt first."

"ummm ok but you cuss me out every other day..."

"yeah cause you do dumbshit"

"see, but you could be nicer when you tell me about it"

"nigga what do you expect me to be like? fucking elmo or some shit?"

"that's besides the point. in a perfect world we'd be bestfriends! and you'd be less angry and id be less sad!"

since when am i angry?"