Cakes Ablaze

Chapter 1

IN WHICH I'M NOT SO LONELY.

Unhappy people are never satisfied and you can't make them so.

No matter how much you try to please them, there's always something more you could have done. It seems pointless to try and satisfy their demands or expectations because they simply refuse to be happy. In a way, I think Mother is one of those people. Over the years, I've learned through self-discovery [and by self-discovery, I mean many many hours on the internet] that perfection doesn't exist. That rings true for most people, but for mom- not at all. And in the same manner, she expects me to be perfect.

Here, at Alcott High, there's something we call the honors roll. It's a list of the top three students in every set according to merit. Consider it the unofficial popularity ranking of our school. Teachers adore them, students want to be them. Nerds, athletes, and even junkies want to hang out with them, mostly because of the privileges awarded to them by the school like free hall passes, a seat on the student council, and many other things. Now, as usual, I made the list, but like every other year I make the list, my name is never number one. I've made peace with always being number two [not totally, but enough to stop crying myself to sleep] but this year, I did the unthinkable.

As I glance at the two names above mine on the roll, my fists clenched at my sides and heat creeping up my neck, I hear mothers voice in my head.

I need you to put more effort into your studies Katherine. Always Katherine when she's mad, never Kathy.

I'm doing my best Mom.

Then your best is not enough.

I'm jolted out of my reverie when Maddie places a hand on my shoulder. "Are you alright?"

I'm not. "Why won't I be?"

She nods as if she understands, but she doesn't. "Come on, let's head to homeroom, here's getting too crowded for me."

And for the first time, I notice the crowd of students hovering around the poll, the stench of desperation and empty wishes in the air.

With a plastic smile on my face, I link arms with my best friend as we make our way to class. The rest of the day passes with me barely paying attention to anything.

Third and fourth periods blend into one, and then it's time for lunch. Absentmindedly spinning my locker combination, I let mindless chatter drift through me. Only paying attention when I hear two girls a few lockers from me whispering my name. If you could call it a whisper that is.

"Did she really make 3rd on the list?"

"She did, I'm telling you. I saw it myself."

"I wonder how she's taking it, I heard Angie's having a party."

"And we're invited?"

Placing my books in my locker, I slam my locker shut to get their attention and send a fake smile in their direction. They jump like they've been caught doing something bad, the fairer one blushing, while the other avoids eye contact with me.

Making my way towards the cafeteria, I head towards our table and see that Jonnie had already ordered lunch for me. Placing a kiss on the side of his head as thanks, I settle down beside him and pick at the food. While I appreciate the gesture, it would have been better if he'd ordered something I'd actually eat and not the greasy health hazard that was currently on my plate. At least he got the drink right. Olivia leans across the table and whispers to me, almost spilling my canned lemonade.

"You coming for Angie's party? I heard her ex is in town and her boyfriend's going to be there."

"I don't think so, I have some studying to catch up with."