Power of Will, a SAW Fanfiction

Ch. 16 Pre-Saw: The Funeral

Wilhelmina Maddox

"I dreamed of Frank. We were on our honeymoon, taking a walk on the beach. But when I turned around, he was far away. In the water. I called out to him but he was so far away. He was drowning. I tried to go to him but the waves kept pushing me back. When I woke up, I reached over to feel for him. And then I remembered." Will sighed through blurry vision as she swiped at the nearby tissue box to dab the new tears that seemed to continuously appear at the corner of her eyes.

"That must have been hard," Peter Strahm leaned into her, elbows on his thighs. "How often have you been dreaming of him?"

"Almost every night since he died." She looked out the window of his office, the distant sky dark and stormy. "I know I should move on. I need to. But every time I close my eyes, I see him."

"You can't force yourself to just forget the man you spent years with. No matter what you think you should be doing, you can't deny your feelings. The sooner you accept them the sooner you can confront your pain and heal from it."

"It's been months since I decided to leave Frank."

"He only died weeks ago, you only being allowed to put him to rest recently. It's understandable to have unresolved pain. It could take years to move on from the separation. Don't have expectations. Just take things one day at a time."

She nodded. "Yeah. You're right." She sniffled and blew her nose. "Thanks for seeing me. I know it was short notice."

"Any time. I appreciate you coming to me with this. I assure you, it's no inconvenience." Strahm smile warmly. "As you know, work's been slow."

"Right? It's so frustrating. Work helped me not think about life going to shit. But all this waiting around has been driving me up the wall."

"This is not necessarily a bad thing. Try to take this time to work on yourself. Maybe take some leave. After the funeral."

She tried to smile back but it felt forced. "Yeah. Maybe I should."

"It's tomorrow?"

"Yes." She swallowed and shuttered, "Our relatives are flying in from California. I - I haven't told his parents too many details. I wasn't sure how to. They only know he was murdered. But they think it was quick and painless."

"Gentle lies are a mercy. When the crime goes to trial, they can learn the sad truth."

"If it goes to trial."

Strahm nodded in sympathy. "I'd be happy to accompany you, if it would make it easier."

"I may just take you up on that offer." She nodded. "If it's no trouble."

"No trouble at all."

"Thank you. You've been so helpful." She felt a twinge of guilt, turning to this man she had only known for a few months for consolation and comfort instead of her closest friends. But Peter Strahm had never judged her. Never expressed any strong opinion on what she should or should not do.

Kerry, despite her good intentions, was clearly glad that Frank was gone. It had been obvious in how she grimaced whenever Will wanted to talk about him.

And Hoffman. Hoffman was so much worse when it came to listening about her ruminating about her late husband.

Peter Strahm had been the only person in her life that actually listened and made her feel a little better after every conversation. That was something she needed.

But this was something she wouldn't brag about, especially not to her partner. It was clear he didn't like Peter Strahm and she didn't want any problems over this.