Perrie Edwards Imagines - book two (gxg)

numb (requested)

"Is there anything I can do for you, my love? Anything at all?" Perrie asked as she laid beside you, watching as you shook your head wordlessly. "Are you sure? You're not hungry or anything?"

Again, you shook your head without a word, and all Perrie could do was sigh in sadness as she brushed her fingers across your arm.

You haven't been yourself for the last few days. She understands why, knowing that losing a parent must be a difficult thing to go through, a different kind of ache in your heart that words can't express.

But she's worried about you.

Since you got the news about your mom a few days ago, you haven't said a word. You haven't eaten. You've barely gotten out of bed.

It's clear that you're hurting and Perrie can see it. But you haven't broken down yet. You're just sort of... numb.

"I'm worried about you." She said and watched as you closed your heavy eyes. "Considering what happened, I understand that you're going through a hard time. But you've barely cried and I know you must really feel as though you need to. You seem so numb and I don't know how to help."

You tried to roll over, wanting to face the other way, but she stopped you.

"No. Please, baby. Don't."

You let out a shaky breath and kept your gaze up on the ceiling.

"I know you loved your mom. I know you're hurting a lot. I don't know why you won't let it out, because I know you need to and you should know that I won't judge you when you need to cry."

It took a few moments before you spoke, swallowing thickly as a lump appeared in your throat.

"I love her, Perrie." You whispered. "I hate when people say things in the past tense to me like that. It's just another painful reminder that she's not here with me."

"I'm sorry." She whispered.

"It's okay." You said, exhaling shakily. "I honestly don't think I can go to the funeral."

"Y/N, you need to." She said as she took your hand into hers.

"You don't get it." You said, voice cracking in the middle of your words. "It hurts so much and I don't know what to do without her."

Perrie felt the tears sting her eyes as you began to break down.

"I don't want to say goodbye. It's not fair. I shouldn't have to yet. She was still young and there's moments in our lives she wanted to be around for that she's not going to be able to see. It's so unfair!"

She used her free hand to wipe away the tears as they fell from your eyes.

"I love her. I told her that not long before they called me, saying she wasn't with us anymore. It's the worst pain I've ever felt in my life and I don't think it's ever going to get any easier."

"I understand it's hard, baby." She whispered. "I know you were so close with her."

You hung your head, your lips trembling before they parted as a sob escaped them.

"She was my best friend."

Perrie's heart shattered from seeing you in so much pain.

"She was amazing. She was always so selfless and she made everyone so happy. Not having her around anymore is so painful. I don't know how I'm going to go on without her. I miss her and I wish I could hug her one more time. I wish I could hear her laugh and tell her that I love her. I just wish she was still here."

Perrie dropped your hand to pull you into her arms. She wrapped them around you and held you close as you cried together. She knew your heart was hurting more than it ever has before and hers was aching, too.

"It'll get easier, someday. You just have to remember that she's not gone, she's right there in your heart. I'm sure she's looking down on you, so proud of everything that you are."

"I hope you're right." You sniffled.

"Oh, you know I am. Because you were your mom's pride and joy, her whole entire world. She loves you so very much."

"It just hurts, Perrie."

"It will." She whispered. "And it's going to take a while to heal. That's okay. You've got a lot of people around you that will help you through each day until it gets a little easier. Me. The girls. Your friends and the rest of your family. We're all here for you, I promise."

You continued to cry as she held you tight.

"I know it hurts. You cry as much as you need to. I'll be here to dry your tears and remind you that she's still right here with you. That won't ever change. I promise."

You cried a little harder, hoping with all of your heart that she was right.

Because you only miss her more every single day and nothing in the world would ever change that.