Head Over Heels

Chapter 27- The Truth

I couldn't go back to class. My stomach was in knots and my head was spiraling in a million different directions after Tyler spilled his guts to me at lunch. I didn't really know how I should react or how to process all of the information thrown at me. On one hand I was so happy to know Tyler never wanted to end things between us and it wasn't his idea, but on the other hand it's really confusing to move past a heartbreak and finally be okay with being "just friends," to have that idea get flipped upside down again. Rather than say something I didn't truly mean, I took Tyler's advice and didn't answer him right then. I thanked Tyler for opening up to me and then asked him to take me home since I wasn't feeling well. I only half lied about being sick. I told him it was from the tacos....pretty sure he knew that wasn't the case.

Now I'm sitting on my bed thumbing over the smooth worn down leather of Tyler's journal. Running through a pros and cons list in my head about if I should open it or not.

Will this do me more harm than good? Am I ready for this, can I handle what's inside? Am I prepared to know all the stuff that goes on inside Tyler's head? Will this bring me clarity or more questions? Most importantly, is it worth re-opening the ache that is healing but is still there in the hopes that Tyler could once again fill that place in my heart?

After a few more minutes of contemplating I decide knowing is better than not knowing so I begin leafing through the filled pages. My fingers trace the outlines of indented pen strokes along each piece of paper. His distinct handwritten script scrolls along each page and before I read a single word I already feel more connected to him. Tyler has written steadily for months and it's all cataloged by date in this brown leather book I hold in my hands. I decide to begin at the place Tyler has dog-eared for me.

September 7, 2021

I met the most interesting girl today, Lila Daniels. She swept me off my feet... literally. She seems different from all the other girls at school but I can't put my finger on what it is yet. Most girls at school I can read like a book, not Lila though. She seems more reserved, but I can already tell there is more to her than what's on the surface. For example, I want to know more about the girl that isn't afraid to go full beast mode and annihilate Tanner in a wall sit competition (which was completely awesome). Then turn around and kill me at rope climb (that one stung a bit) right after. I was so impressed it almost didn't hurt my ego to lose (almost). Instead of gloating and taking the W, Lila acted like she wished she could have avoided the attention all together and came to congratulate me afterwards. She's something else. I just hope Payton doesn't freak her out completely by coming on too strong (like she always does) and ruining my chances at getting to know the prettiest girl I've ever met. Because after today, I definitely need to know more about her.
...

September 10, 2021

Our Opening Home Game was awesome! I felt really good and in my element. There's nothing like the rush of getting to play on our home turf and be totally in sync with each other. Mason and I have been pushing each other really hard all summer to get ready for our final season leading the Bulldogs and I'm happy to say I think it's paying off.

I did get a little anxious before the game started since I knew all eyes were going to be on me, like they always are. As the game progressed it got easier to tune out those anxious thoughts thankfully and just play the game I love. I'm praying we can keep up the momentum as a team this season and that it's enough to secure my spot at Michigan State or at least any of the D1 schools in my top five. Coach told me before the game State's Coach has been calling about me a lot lately so there's a good chance as long as I don't get injured or royally screw up this season that I can secure my spot there. But I can't let myself think about it too much, I need to focus on my job this season, take it game by game and trust that whatever is supposed to happen will work itself out in the end.