I remember the day it all changed for me. I was sitting in the garden Mother had grown for me when the ground cracked beneath my feet. Up arose him, my husband, my Hades. At the time, I did not know he would be mine, not fully anyway. I did want him, however, so when he told me my Father, Zeus, had approved, I dove in head first and without a second thought.
The Underworld felt strange to me at first. It was cool and gave me a slight chill, but the longer I remained, the better it felt. I remember the once sickening and unnerving chill began to act as an ice pack upon my feverish, aching body. It felt great to me, who had only known warmth. I was able to truly see, and feel, "moon light" for the first time. No longer was I in the hot, sweltering sun, but instead the cool shadow of the moon embraced me. HE embraced me.
Hades, my moon and my light.
I gained the moon, and that was great, but at what cost? I had now lost my "sun." My warmth, my Mother, Demeter. The chill of the underworld was great, but I felt as though my heart would freeze too if I remained there forever. How could I abandon my dearest Mother when she had cared for me so long? Hades understood, or at least he tried to. He did not quite feel the same about his own parents, and that was fine. He respected me and cared for me, and that was all that mattered to us.
Then came the news. My worst fears were indeed true. My Mother had frozen to the "Kore" too. (Do you like my pun there? Hades likes my pun there.) Her warmth no longer radiated, and her heart no longer nutured the {Earth}. I understood all too well what I must do. I must spend time with my Mother once again.
My darling Hades thinks he is smart, and he is, but not smarter than I. I knew well and good my Mother would never let me leave again if possible, she loved me too much. My Mother didn't understand that human saying, "if you love something let it go. If it comes back to you, it is yours. If it does not, it never was to begin with." I don't believe this saying merely applies to romantic gestures, but it applies to all loved things. Cats are a perfect example. People oft let them roam, and yet they come back. Despite this, they are not "owned" by a human, they never were.
And neither was I. I am not owned by my Mother, Father, nor even Hades, but I come and go as I please, just like those very {cats} you humans claim to own. I knew those seeds would "trap" me in "hell" with him, but maybe I wanted that. I knew what I was doing and let my darling pretend he was the smart one the entire time. This, of course, gave me a chance to go back to my Mother once more with no fear of being {owned}.
These seeds are seen as the things trapping me, but it is the opposite for us. These seeds are my freedom from the frail cage my Mother once kept me in. Leaving all I've ever known behind is a scary, cruel thing, but embracing the cool and dark is... Well, cool. It's amazing in so many ways. Afterall, you can always warm up after being cold, but you can't always cool down from the hot, hot sun.
Demeter, my Mom, my Sun and Hades, my Husband, my Moon. I need both my Sun and my Moon to survive, and you do too. My balance was achieved after releasing it all and accepting the love that surrounded me as a part of me. I am perfect just the way I am and nothing can changed that.
By the way, Mothers are never actually "gone," they are just far away or watching from distance with an occasionally disapproving stare. Or at least mine is!
