Life after You

Pity

Peyton POV

Even the next morning when I arrive at work, Laura doesn't know how to process the information I'd told her the night before over the phone about what Blythe had told me.

"I just can't believe he would do that to you".

"Technically he hasn't done anything to me. He's just keeping a secret from me" I sigh.

"Still, he could've had the decency to tell you something like that".

"I guess".

I felt suddenly so insecure and insignificant, like I was living in the shadow of Guinevere Beck. She was an absolutely beautiful young woman for a start.

That's not even to mention the fact that she was an incredibly talented writer. She probably had more talent in her little finger then I ever did.

For some ridiculous reason, I'd gone and bought a copy of her last book yesterday on my way home from work and started reading it last night.

It was exactly what I expected it to be. All about that Dr Nicky guy, with barely even a mention about her actual boyfriend which now I know was Joe all along.

I'm not jealous about the fact that they were together before we were, I'm not. I can remember when Beck used to come into the library and how she used to talk about this perfect boyfriend of hers.

She always made their relationship sound so perfect and talked about how thoughtful and kind he always was. Yet he seems to only get a passing glance in the book so it doesn't make any sense.

Yet the more I've read of her book makes me realise that maybe she was the one with all the imperfections. Blythe herself said that she agreed with me that she didn't deserve him.

She openly talks about her sexual relationship with Dr Nicky, but barely of the guilt she felt about being unfaithful until she tried to break off the affair after her relationship with Joe had already ended.

They must've tried to figure things between them, but Joe's suspicions were confirmed when she finally confessed everything to him and they broke up all over again.

It's sad. How hurt Joe must've been to realise his suspicions were true after she'd denied everything for so long and purposely made him feel guilty, like he was just being a paranoid asshole.

"Are you gonna at least ask him about it?"

"I don't know if I should".

"So you want him to keep lying to you? You know that'll just slowly eat away at you until you stop trusting him".

"I know, but at the end of the day I still have things that I haven't even told him yet. Who am I to judge him for doing the same?"

"I think yours is easier to understand. He has the book she wrote with her picture constantly on display right there where he works, so he sees it almost every day".

She's right. I have to see her there every time I walk in to Mooney's and so does he. How can he truly move on from her and be in a relationship with me when she's always there?

Maybe I was being used as a substitute Beck and that he's been replacing her with me this whole time because he never really got over her and her betrayal?

Look at how he reacted when he thought for a even a second that I might've been seeing someone else. Could I be in a relationship with someone with that little trust in me?

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Joe POV

When I go to the nearby coffee shop to get me and Ethan our morning coffees, I run into a familiar face that I hadn't seen in months.

I didn't like to make a point of keeping an eye on Beck's old friends because I wanted to move on from that dark period of my life.

"I thought that was you I saw through the window" she smiles.

Annika comes walking over to me and gives me an unexpected hug. She looked good.

"Good to see you, Annika. How have you been?"

"All things considered, I'd say things have been great. Did you hear about Lynn?"

"What about her?"

"She's in rehab. The whole Peach suicide thing and then the Beck situation hit her pretty hard so her family thought it would be for the best".

That means her entire friendship group was now diminished and that was all down to me. It makes sense that I would feel guilty right about now and I do.

"Well I really hope she gets the help she needs".

"So what about you?"

"Works been pretty busy. I've actually started seeing someone recently and it's going pretty well".

"I'm so happy for you, Joe. You really do deserve it after everything that happened between you and Beck".

"Thank you, Annika. So what about you, are you seeing anybody?"

"Finding a decent single straight guy in New York is like finding a needle in a haystack".

"Well I wish you all the best" I tell her when the barista hands over the coffees I came here for.

"Hey maybe we could hang out sometime? Have a real catch up".

Looking at her now, I realise the real reason she came in here and it wasn't for the coffee, she's lonely. Instagram fans are no compensation for actually human interaction.

Although she's far better off without the venomous bitch Peach in her life, she doesn't have Beck or Lynn to fall back on anymore either.

"Sure, why not".

Crap.

A pity friendship with one of Beck's best friends is the last thing I need right now, but what am I supposed to do? I've inadvertently taken away everyone that she was once codependent on.