Letters

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TRIGGER WARNING: very light mention of abuse

A/N: Anyways here is another angsty one where I used an audio as a prompt. However I have a part 2 coming for this one. Probably posted tomorrow or the next day. So enjoy!

Song suggestion: Above and Beyond by Audiomachine

At the end of the day Hawk was surprised to see a letter in his locker from (Y/n). Sure they often left each other gushy love letters. Both feeling that they were better at expressing emotions on paper. It was top secret of course, Hawk couldn't threaten his new macho persona.

However he was surprised to see the letter, because lately (Y/n) had a lot of stuff going on at home. She wouldn't talk about it much, but it made his blood boil when he saw bruises on her skin.

Eli stuffed the letter in his pocket, and grabbing his stuff to go meet (Y/n) at their usual spot. Just as he was about to shut his locker his phone went off.

(Y/n):
Sorry babe my mom is insisting on picking me up today

Hawk:
Ok I'll talk to you after karate
Ice cream maybe?

This made Hawk's stomach turn, but he just sighed and walked out the school to his bike.

--

After practice Hawk checked his phone surprised he still hadn't received a text from (Y/n). He opened the messages to see she hadn't even opened it. This made him worry but he knew she would come to him if she was in trouble. Or so he thought.

When he got home he sat on his bed staring at his unopened message, then he finally remembered the letter. Pulling it out of his pocket and unfolding it he began to read.

"Dear Eli,

This line alone made Hawk nervous. She hadn't called him Eli in a long time, and when she did it was because she was serious.

"You know I love you. I feel I've loved you forever.
Lately, I haven't been feeling very well. I'm tired.
I've spent almost my entire life with ghosts. It occurred to me, that it was time for me to bury them. I can't do that here.

This made Hawk's heart stop but he kept reading.

"No matter how hard I try to fight it off I'm left feeling that, I have to go.
I know it's going to be hard. And god am I going to miss you.
But I know I have to do this. If I don't I'm afraid that I'll self destruct, and worse you'll be there to see it happen.
Know that I tried very hard to stay. Know that you were my one and only. I'll miss you with every beat of my heart. Our life together was the only home I'd ever really had.

Hawk felt the world around him crumble. Tears streaming down his face as he read the last line.

"I love you, I always will. Goodbye.
-(Y/n)"

Hawk stood off his bed, but immediately fell to the floor. Crumpled up sobbing on the floor. Balling his hands up into a fist, and banging them against the floor.

Then he realized he had to act fast if he had any chance of stopping her.
He ran out of his house to his bike, then started it up and sped off to her house.

When he arrived he immediately looked up to her bedroom. It was dark, but he had to be sure. So he climbed up the way he had a thousand times before. Looking through the window it was dark and empty. He placed his head on the window with a big sigh, before climbing back down.

Hawk knew knocking on the front door was a bad idea, but he had to try. Knocking on the door he had butterflies in his stomach. He had met her parents before, but that wasn't necessarily a good thing.

"What do you want?" Her mom said as she answered the door.

"Is (Y/n) home?

"No of course not. The stupid slut is never home."

"Ok," Eli said with a sigh as he walked back to his bike.

----

Hawk was unsure where to go, but he knew he had to look for her. Starting with the train station. He looked around, but (Y/n) was no where to be found. Not really knowing what else to do he went up to talk to the teller.

"Have you seen this girl here tonight?" Hawk asked as he showed the man a picture of (Y/n) on his phone.

The man barely looked up from his magazine and said, "Sure that girl looks kind of familiar."

"Where was she headed?"

"Look kid it's not our job to keep track of everyone who comes through here," the man said this time not even looking up at him.

Hawk gave the man a glare before saying, "Fine," and walking back to his bike.

He felt hopeless. (Y/n) was gone and she wasn't coming back. Defeated he got on his bike and drove home.

Once he got there all he could do was cry. Looking at their old photos, reading her old letters and texts. It was killing him to know he might never see her again. Three years together he never really thought about life without her.

He couldn't sleep. Too much on his mind. He had so much left to say.

When the sun came up he couldn't think of anything else to do. So he sat at his desk and wrote a letter. A letter he knew she would never read.

Dear (Y/n),

I couldn't sleep last night, because I know that it's over between us.
I spent the whole night reliving our memories, and there is one that keeps replaying in my mind.
It was the first time that I saw you, I had never seen anything so perfect.
I remember thinking that I had to have you. Or I'd die.
Thats how I feel now. That I'll die without you.
I mean I had a plan. I had a plan, but now I don't.
And I have no idea what to do.
You're just all that matters. Okay? You're all that matters to me.
I don't know what I'll do without you. But I guess I have no choice but to say goodbye.
I love you.
-Eli"

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