Potere | Book II ✓

xxviii | in confidence and power

xxviii | in confidence and power

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Getting out of bed is getting harder and harder to do.  Finding the strength to roll over and the motivation to get up and start a day you're certain will be traumatic is next to impossible.  It's been two days since the memorial of Jaiyana and my mother.  Two days of rolling over and thinking the exact same thought.  Who is going to die today?

I roll over on my side, hand tucked underneath my pillow, just to find Liam standing before a full-length mirror.  The room is dark, and the cloudy weather outside doesn't help. But I can see Liam clearly, dressed in black from head to toe. 

He loops a black belt around the waistband of his dress pants before working the collar of his black dress shirt.  There's no overly expensive suit jacket today, nor does he wear his favorite tie—one costing more than most people make within a weeks' time.  He loosens a few buttons at the top of his shirt for a more casual look, before securing a silver chain around his neck.  Our eyes meet in the mirror a moment later.

"I made the family aware this morning that the hit I put on the news anchor is suspended."  By the sound of his voice, I know he woke up recently.  "That was anger.  I shouldn't have made that order in anger." Liam finalizes his outfit with a diamond studded watch.  "What he said about the company doesn't matter.  Nothing really matters."

I sit up.  "What do you mean?"

Liam turns to face me.  If I wasn't entirely awake then, I was once the faint smell of his cologne reached my nose.  He looks away from me when he says, "Because I'm shutting it down."

Whoa.  I pause, then fling the comforter away from my legs, roll over to his side of the bed, and effortlessly slide out of bed.  "Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa." I reach him in a matter of seconds, my hands finding a way to the belt loops on his pants.  I tug him close, a frown forming quickly.  "You look good." His smile is soft, but painful.  "You know I'd support any decision of yours, but I want to make sure you're sure.  Is this something you really want to do, or is this because you're hurting right now?"

"I've been hurting since you met me."  The truth in his words hurt a little more than I expected.  He looks away, lost in thought while I'm lost for words.  I wait patiently, my hands finding his sides, holding him.  "I named this company after my mother to honor her.  I never imagined her coming back into my life, let alone assigning her the CEO position.  I never expected that.  I never expected any of this." Liam's eyes find mine.  "It only feels fair that the company dies with her."

He moves past me, muttering something about me getting dressed and accompanying him.  I reach for his arm, stopping him from stepping out of reach.  "You can't just—"

"You're right, I fucking can't."  His anger catches me off guard, but I don't take it personally.  He doesn't rip his arm from me but accepts the holding of my hand when our palms meet.  "I cannot watch another person get murdered on the steps of that building and I cannot let more innocent people die inside of it.  I can't, Faith."

A sick feeling circulates in my stomach, and I drop his hand.  A tear of frustration finds a way to the corner of Liam's eye, but it doesn't fall.  He still wipes at it, angrily, as he finds a way to the edge of our bed and drops down.  I watch him carefully, before lifting an eyebrow.  "What aren't you telling me?"

Liam lets out a sigh of frustration.  He wrings his hands together, eyes on the floor, while his leg bounces in anticipation.  His eyes dart from mine whenever they find each other, unable to hold contact for more than a brief second.  He lets out an anxious breath.  I was sure he would answer my question, until his phone rang.