Arrow

ch 8; with you in my arms

Merlin isn't sure how many days have already passed since the day there Gwen went missing.
No one could find any clue where she could be right now. It's like she just vanished from earth without any trace. A slightly as she never has existed from the beginning.
Merlin places the medicine on the nightstand next the bed there Arthur only stares out into thin air.
The medicine Gaius prepared to give Arthur a good night sleep.
"Here is your medicine..." Merlin says and starts feeling very nervous over Arthur's lack of emotions. Or in any respond at all...
The king's eyes aren't flinching the slightest. As he hadn't heard Merlin at all.
Merlin keeps shifting weight from one foot to another. Back and forth. He is really worried about him. For each day he could see how Arthur get thinner and thinner. In this rate, Arthur will fade away and leaving an empty shell after him.
Merlin looks asking at the door he is supposed to walk through soon and get back home. But then he glances asking at Arthur.
He sighs and steps out from the boots before he starts crawling carefully over Arthur.
"Scoot over..." he mumbles with pounding heart while he lies down next Arthur underneath the blanket.
At first Merlin lies on the back with his eyes staring nervously up at the ceiling with intertwined hands on the chest.
Merlin glances curiously at Arthur and can't believe he just got in same bed as him. If Arthur any day wakes up from his current state, he will certainly hang him...The king is already behaving as he thinks Merlin is a freak who tries get a peek at him.
If he ever finds out Merlin snuck in bed while Arthur wasn't himself... Arthur will certainly be very upset.

But Merlin couldn't care about those things when he looks at Arthur's backhead with blonde strands of hair who hasn't been combed for awhile.
Instead Merlin starts pitying the sad king and turned around to the side there he snuggles Arthur closer.
Then with a few seconds of hesitation he also wraps his arm around Arthur.
"...Good night my lord..." Merlin whispers and rubs the tip of the nose on Arthur's neck while snuggling with closed eyes.
His heart kept pounding loudly for a while. But the second the heart rate decreased, he fell asleep with a small smile creeping onto his lips.

***
He was between the state of asleep and awake when he notices how someone breathes at his face.
Merlin hums asking and blinks his eyes slowly opened.
The second he understands Arthur is facing him with his arms around him, Merlin's heart skips a beat while he blushes inhaling.
Why is he sharing bed with Arthur?!
Then he remembered the evening from yesterday there he couldn't leave Arthur alone of pity.
But he never thought the king would turn around and embrace him tightly.
Merlin looks curiously up at Arthur's relaxed face while the blonde snores lightly.
The servant smiles gently and happily over seeing Arthur relaxed for once. Relieved Arthur could at least find some peace in the sleep. Peace he couldn't find while awake.

Merlin doesn't know what came over him. But suddenly he pecked softly and swiftly on Arthur's lips.
The king grunts while pressing his arms around Merlin.
Merlin wides his eyes shocked. Afraid Arthur would wake up and yell at him. But mostly surprised over his sudden action there he kissed him.
The second Arthur relaxes and exhales softly, Merlin sighs relieved.
It seems Arthur isn't about to wake up yet.
"M-..." Arthur mumbles under the breath.
Merlin raises an eyebrow.
"...Merlin..."
The dark haired man gasps. Did Arthur just mumbled his name? What-... What does that mean?
Merlin's heart pounds loudly while his cheeks are heating up.
"...Art-..." he clears the throat.
"Arthur?" He asks since he wasn't sure if Arthur was asleep or awake.
Arthur starts opening his eyes slowly and couldn't at first understand what he is looking at.
The blonde starts smiling dreamingly. Believing he has another sweet dream about Merlin.
Then he furrows his eyebrows and jolts while taking the arm of Merlin.
"Merlin?" He wrinkles the nose and couldn't believe the eyes. Now completely aware this wasn't a dream.
Merlin smiles nervously.
"Eh heh... God morning princess... Did you got a good night sleep?" He jokes gulping.
Arthur raises an eyebrow.
"What... Why are you sharing bed with me?"
Merlin starts chuckling very nervously and sits up with a little space between them.
"That is a very funny story, you know..." he laughs.
Arthur sits halfway up while leaning on the forearms.
"I'm standing very hesitant to that... But go on..." the blonde nods to signal Merlin to speak up. Giving a good reason why they just slept in each other's arms like a couple would.
"Eh-... I was about to help you with the night medicine so you could sleep well... Then you suddenly wrapped your arms around me and forced me down to bed... I got shocked and didn't knew what to do... And before I knew it, I passed out of exhaustion and woke up about five minutes ago... Finding you still holding your arms around me..." he lies blushing.
Arthur stares at Merlin in disbelief.
"So-..." he clears the throat.
"You are telling me... It's my fault you are sleeping next me?"
"YES!" Merlin responds immediately.
Arthur grimaces as he couldn't believe Merlin's story how they ended up in same bed.
"That-... That sounds very... Ridiculous" he spat.
Merlin shrugs.
"Perhaps...But now... Now I shall get your breakfast for you... So, wait here while I'm getting the food" the dark haired man says while crawling over Arthur's legs which makes the blonde to sighs loudly in protest.
Then Merlin stands on the floor he starts taken the boots on.
Arthur raises an eyebrow and points asking with the hand at the boots.
"Pardon me Merlin..."
"Hm?" Merlin glances curiously at Arthur from the kneeling position there he takes the boots on.
The king rolls the eyes.
"If I was supposed to be the one who brought you to the bed-... How come you then had taken the boots of first?"
Merlin narrows the eyes while parting the lips. What should he answer?
"I- eh..."
Arthur raises an eyebrow.
Merlin gulps nervously with a smile.
"I've had to give you the medicine... But since you didn't wanted to turn around I've had to get on the bed to give you the medicine..." he chuckles nervously.
Arthur blinks asking and looks curiously at the nightstand with the unopened bottle with medicine inside it.
The blonde reaches after the small bottle.
"Are you talking about this one?" He hums asking and waves the bottle a little.
"...Yes! That's the one..." Merlin nods and stands up.
Arthur looks asking at the bottle who still is filled with some liquid.
"Well-... I'm not a physician as Gaius but-... I'm pretty sure you are supposed to drink it...So my question is, if you were about to give me the medicine, then...Why did the bottle stand on the nightstand until now? With the medicine still inside?"
Merlin jolts.
"Oh!...That's... That's because I first got on bed...And the second I tried reaching after the bottle I stupidly forgot on the nightstand...You suddenly wrapped your arms around me and pulled me down...Heh-... You are weirdly strong even when you are asleep..." Merlin lies and glances over the shoulder while Arthur is eyeing him doubtfully.
"Oh!" Merlin flinches.
"I almost forgot your breakfast...I-... I will soon be back..." he apologies and moves swiftly out from the room before Arthur could get any chance to stop him and ask more questions.

***
Merlin almost thought Arthur would be on the feet when he came back with the tray with food.
His heart pounds nervously when he reaches after the door handle.
But the second he opened the door and saw Arthur was still in the bed. Sitting up though. His heart sunk.
The king sat leaning back at the headboard with an empty yet sad expression while looking out through the window there the sun is shining outside.
"Arthur?"
The king moves the face slowly against Merlin as he wasn't sure if he heard something.
Arthur sighs.
"Oh-... It's you..." he says monotonous.
Merlin lips tugged into a nervous and crooked smile.
"Yes-... And I have your breakfast with me... Do you want to sit by the table? Or you want eat on the bed today?"
Arthur reaches the hands out.
"If I may-... I would rather eat here..."
Merlin starts walking against him in faster movements. He doesn't want miss an opportunity to get Arthur to eat.
"Here you are" he smiles and hands the tray over to Arthur who grabs it.
The blonde lowered the tray onto his legs. Then he starts bored examining the bread, the cheese, the grapes and the water. Nothing of it made him very excited to eat.

The king grabbed a grape with the thumb and index finger. Then he stares hollowed at the smooth skin of the green grape.
He was about to shove the grape between his slightly parted lips while Merlin smiled excited, then he regrets the decision.
With a sigh he lowered the hand and dropped the grape back on the plate.
"Do you..." he starts asking while Merlin's smile dropped and he stares nervously at the king.
Arthur wets the lips before letting out some air in a sigh.
"Have I ever been any good partner for Gwen?" He furrows the eyebrows and looks vulnerable at Merlin.
Merlin tilts the head.
"... Do you ask me if I think you have been enough for her? If you have made her happy?"
The blonde nods.
"... Yes-... Nowadays I believe she should have been with Lancelot instead... That, he would have made her truly happy and made sure she would have been still alive..." Arthur clears the throat and looks down at the plate.
Merlin clicks the tongue snorting.
"No..." he smiles.
Arthur raises an eyebrow and looks asking at him.
Merlin shrugs.
"I mean... She would be happy with him... But she'd truly loved you Arthur... You were the one she wanted to spend her life with... No one else... Not even with Lancelot... So, yes... You were enough and you made her happy ... She couldn't wish for something better "
The king presses his lips hardly together and turns the face down against the tray. It feels as he gets overwhelmed with emotions.
He swallows hardly.
"B-but... He wouldn't lost her..." Arthur cries silently out.
He clears the throat while Merlin's heart pounds painfully.
"...I lost her..." he adds sniffling and shut the eyes closed.
Killing her was one thing. But also losing her body is another.
Why can't he do any right?

Merlin takes a step to him with the hand extending against him.
"Arthur...I'm..." he gulps.
The blonde gasps softly with his teary eyes slowly opening.
"Leave me..."
The dark haired man gasps jolting.
"What?"
Arthur inhales deeply and closes the eyes a short moment.
"... I need a moment for myself... So, I beg you to leave me alone... "Arthur begs firmly.
Merlin lowered the hand while blinking surprised.
"... As-... As you W-wish..." he answers with a nervous smile. Not sure if he prefer how Arthur is now. Or he would rather have a numb and silent Arthur...
Merlin bows against him before walking out from the room.

Few seconds later after the door got closed and Arthur was left alone, he starts trembling with increased breathing.
He closes his eyes there few tears run down along his cheeks, dripping down at the plate.
Arthur starts gasping after air while whimpering in pain and sorrow. Still shivering.
Memories of Gwen and Lancelot pass his mind.
But despite a few or those memories are happy ones, he can't feel any happiness right now. Like every single memory is destroyed from recent events.
And he can only blame himself.
Lancelot wasn't supposed to die that day he did. It was he, Arthur Pendragon, whom was supposed to sacrifice himself to save everyone. But for some reason it didn't ended as planned. Instead Lancelot sacrificed himself in Arthur's place.
So, Arthur is partly responsible for his death.
And now... Now he killed and lost the woman Lancelot also had feelings for...
Arthur cries.
He would do everything to change a few things in life... Like saving Lancelot and telling him to marry Gwen in his place. Then he would threw himself in the rift and close it through his selfless sacrifice. And therefore save everyone...

The memory from earlier today there he woke up with Merlin in his arms passes his mind.
Arthur inhales surprised and opened the eyes.
He could still remember the warmth from Merlin and the first happiness he has felt in long time...
Merlin... Just thinking about him makes him cheerful.
Arthur sighs and lowered the shoulders in disappointment.
No way he deserves any happiness right now...
But perhaps he deserves any food?
Arthur inhales deeply through the nose before letting out the air through the mouth.
Then he starts eating. Slowly and left some food on the plate. But he starts eating at least...