Chapter 2

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For the first time in years, Childe came face to face with an enemy that, no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't defeat. No matter how hard he grappled with it, it didn't give in, still making his life a living nightmare and making him regret ever showing up in the first place.

That enemy of his happened to be a pair of chopsticks. 

Mister Zhongli had done the honors of ordering them food - partially, because he knew the restaurant better, but also because Childe really wasn't in the mood to mispronounce the names of food and make a fool of himself. Though that choice has saved him from one embarrassment, it only led him to another.

When the server, Xiangling as Mister Zhongli called her, arrived with an array of food that she announced to be jade parcels, chili-mince cornbread buns, and Jueyun chili chicken, followed by a set of chopsticks for them both, Childe had been on the verge of tears. Instead of showing his discomfort, though, Childe had simply lifted the chopsticks and tried to figure out how to maneuver them as  Mister Zhongli held up some light conversation about Liyue Harbor.

Very carefully, as if he was terrified that one wrong move would send his food running, he reached for his plate of chicken, ignoring the fact that he could quite literally see his chopsticks shaking. All the while, Mister Zhongli spun high tales of Liyue Harbor's growth, seemingly not noticing Childe's struggle.

"Liyue Harbor was at first but a small city on the edge of the ocean," he said, his voice soothing and somehow captivating despite the fact that the topic of conversation was so very boring. "It was only thanks to the adepti's wish for peace and Rex Lapis's growth that it even appeared in the first place. Though perhaps, it should be the late goddess Guizhong that should be thanked for Liyue's prosperity."

"Oh?" Childe asked absentmindedly, his attention still on the piece of chicken in front of him and on the foreign feel of chopsticks in his hands. "What, you're not going to sing high ballads to Rex Lapis?"

Mister Zhongli tilted his head ever-so-slightly to one side, the movement small enough that most people wouldn't notice. Not Childe, though. Years of analyzing his enemies were enough for him to see even the smallest movement from anyone. "Does it surprise you that someone such as myself chooses not to praise Rex Lapis?"

"Well, yes, to some degree." He wasn't about to claim to be an expert on Liyue customs - hell, he'd been here for less than a week - but from what he'd seen so far, most of Liyue was obsessed with their god. A shame, truly, since he'd been sent here to rid the god of his most valuable possession.

"I see." In a moment of silence, as if he was gathering his thoughts, Mister Zhongli took a sip of his tea. (That man had to be a lunatic - the tea was scalding hot. How could he even manage to drink it?) "It seems that our traditions are quite different from those of Snezhnaya. Though it is true that Rex Lapis is a generous leader for Liyue to have, he is but a god. His reign cannot last forever-" (was it Childe's imagination or did Mister Zhongli just give him a knowing look?) "-and, like all else, he is destined to fall one day. Perhaps it would be hard for you to understand why I do not place all my hope onto him. If my memory serves me right, you Fatui members place all your trust into your Queen. However, the day shall come when even the Tsaritsa-"

The piece of chicken that he'd been shakily lifting with his chopsticks fell back onto its plate, sending a splash of the sauce over the both of them. How could this man- this funeral parlor consultant- lack faith in his own god, not to mention dismiss someone as powerful as the Tsaritsa (may she be blessed) as if it was nothing? Apparently, though, that was enough to turn Mister Zhongli's attention back to him.

"Ah, forgive me, Mister Childe," he smiled apologetically. "I should have asked in advance if you would have preferred a different arrangement for your cutlery."

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