I Am Hated, Or So I Thought Volume 2

Chapter 4 - Crossing The Line

My head didn't feel so good today. It was full of contradicting thoughts to the point I thought I would go crazy. The lack of sleep last night contributed a lot to this state of mine. Miss Harumi would not let me go even after she had gone to sleep. I did know that Miss Akari inherited the talent of being abnormally strong form her, but the predecessor really did outstand the descendant. Even after struggling gently in the middle of the night, I still couldn't escape from her embrace.

However, it was not that uncomfortable. Sure it was a little warm since her body's heat was being transmitted constantly, but I did not find myself hating the physical contact as much as I did before. At one point, I even found myself accepting it and asking for more.

Yet, my mind repeatedly contradicted those instinctual desires. They brought me to this unending war between two different beings. Desires and logics. The logic was all about how I should not let myself be tricked once again and believe that those affectionate actions were all true and would last long. On the other hand, the desire just persuaded me to accept that they were trying to fix the mistakes they made and accept me no matter what I turned to. It was a long battle and there was still no winner.

I only returned to reality when the my phone vibrates due to the alarm I set. Honestly, I was dissatisfied and a little annoyed that I couldn't get my precious sleep which I had always looking forward to. Nevertheless, when I saw Miss Harumi's swollen eyes and trails of tears on her face, I just let go of it without much thoughts.

As much as I wanted to lie down on my bed and enjoy this comfort, I really had to get up now. It was still quite early but neither one of us would want to be caught up in busy hour. I decided to wake Miss Harumi up since it did not seem like she would wake up on her own for time being...and I wouldn't be able to leave my bed if she doesn't release her embrace.

"Miss Haru-"

A sudden flash of thought stopped me from saying her name. That thought was too ridiculous to even appear in my mind. For the past few years, I would not even had such an idea which I would not even dare to think of. Yet, it struck me like lightning.

I was afraid. As much as I denied and pushed away such thought, I couldn't find myself rejecting it. In fact, the more I stopped myself, the more I wished to do it.

Will I be forgiven for doing this? Will she allow me to do this? Am I wrong to do it? Will Miss Harumi accept it? How should I do it? Can I just do it like before?

....how did I do it last time? With what did I do it?

Then, my mouth opened without the final judgement being settled and said the word.

"... please wake up...Mother."

I couldn't say any word after that. They just came out more natural than I thought, as if I had not stopped calling her like that at all. I expected myself to be repulsed after calling her like that, yet I found myself being happy instead. My lips somehow couldn't stop moving as if there was something pulling the corners of my mouth upwards.

Did I really feel happy...just by calling Miss Harumi, Mother?

I asked myself. Nevertheless, such thought was stopped once again by the headache that became worse due to lack of sleep. Somehow, the pain became worse as time passed by. I didn't know if it was periodic or had any time lapse when it would suddenly strikes but I did realize that this headache did became more painful as it went on.

I thought that I should go to the clinic to check what was wrong, but I truly despised that kind of place so maybe I should just go to Uncle Keima for that.

"Ngh....Yozora?"

Miss Harumi woke up and finally released me from her embrace. I didn't know if it was the genetic or not, but our sleeping habit seemed to be slightly similar. The way she snuggled into something when waking up was just like how I snuggled my pillow in the morning. In her case, it was me. Sometimes, I wondered if she was really someone in her thirties. Her actions were sometimes similar to a teenager or a young woman. Even her appearance cheated her age to the point if she said she was twenty, people would believe her.