the tabby by the sakura tree

3

"[Y/N]-chan, um, me and Hiro-kun were wondering ..." Rei paused and took a deep breath, closing her eyes as if she were about to bring down terrible news, "we were wondering if we could eat lunch alone on some days."

The smile on my face faltered for a split second, but I managed to bring it back before either of the two could catch it. I should've expected this, they were a couple after all.

Rei was my best friend, I wanted her to be happy. And if making Rei happy meant eating lunch alone in the classroom every other day, then I'd do it. I tried my best to ignore the lump in my throat, blinking rapidly in preparation for if my eyes started watering up. The couple eyed me expectantly, with a youthful glimmer that you could only find in two people who were in love. For a moment my heart stung in jealousy. I wanted that glimmer in my eyes too. But most of all, I wanted to spend time with my best friend. When we were first years, I used to believe that we'd eat lunch together even as our hair turned gray and our hands got wrinkly. If I told 12-year-old me that that dream wouldn't even last for two years she'd throw a fit.

I wasn't 12. I didn't want to make things any more awkward than it was. So I agreed.

"Yay!" Rei took her hands in mine and gave me the brightest smile I'd ever seen. The kind of smile she brandished when I'd agreed to watch Sanji Hiro's latest drama with her. The kind she wore when we'd go to the nearest ice cream shop after school. The kind that showed up so much more frequently when Sakamoto came crashing into her life.

I didn't eat on the days that they'd have lunch together. I knew how dramatic that sounded, but it was mostly just because I was embarrassed to be alone. Instead, I'd do the one thing that you could do alone without getting weird looks from your peers: studying.

As the weeks went by, my visits to the library became all the more frequent. It'd gotten to the point that the librarian called me sweetheart. Cute as it may sound to most, I hated how I had to return her smile even when her eyes looked at me like I was one textbook away from suicide watch. I tried my best to ignore how she'd "coincidentally" be arranging books on the shelves across from my table, how her hands had the slightest tremor to them as she stamped the dozenth shoujo manga I was borrowing, or how she memorized my odd tastes in PharmaChem textbooks and horror and romance.

Once Rei had stopped walking with me home, that pitiful look didn't belong to the librarian alone anymore, practically the entire school looked at me in the same way. I hated it. Perhaps it was just my imagination, but every time I traversed the hallways by my lonesome it felt like my skin was turned inside-out. The small yet awkward smiles my school mates would beam towards me on the rare moments eye contact was made didn't make me feel better. All I would think of was that there was a hidden malice behind them that I couldn't quite pinpoint.

The only saving grace that I had in the state I was in right now was that I had somewhere to go, somewhere that felt like home even if it smelled like isopropyl alcohol and plastic medicine bottles: the [L/N] family pharmacy. When Rei wasn't around to distract me, the pharmacy was always there for me in her place. The few hours I had before cram school were usually spent there with my mother and my father occasionally poking his head through the door that connected the pharmacy and his clinic.

I used to spend them with Rei and Sakamoto, but there wasn't much I could do about that right now. I was already well on my way to the joint buildings, letting the peace bask over me how it usually would on my walks there.

The twin beige—almost peach buildings—came into view, and I was already at the tall glass doors before I knew it. I took a glance at the bold red and white signage with my family's surname on it, pushing open the door not a moment after. The wind chime hanging on the door rang out, and I took a deep breath, letting the cool air conditioning make me forget the blinding late June sun outside.