Poem book

Tired

I'm so tired
Tired of drowning in an ocean of everything I'm not
Tired of pretending that I can see blue skies
When all around me is inky black soup from which I can't escape
I'm tired of shoving down the emotion so thick I choke
So tired of wearing a mask as I splinter and crack
I'm so tired
tired of sitting alone in a crowd of those who judge
tired of biting my tongue to the piercing agony
as my thoughts reverberate around my head
Tired of smiling as everyone leaves
Tired of tossing and turning in my bed
because no one bothered to ask how I felt
I'm so tired
Tired of squeezing my eyes shut
to the tears of relief and expression that I refuse to let out
Tired of acting fine when I am falling apart
Tired of laughing but screaming behind closed doors
Tired of questioning who I am
because no one cared to tell me
Tired of being thrown out and unwanted
And never knowing why
I'm so tired
Tired of giving but never let regenerate
Tired of being burnt out but forced to labor
Tired of having beliefs that aren't mine
shoved down my throat as I struggle to just be
I'm so tired
Tired of never being allowed to simply exist
Tired of caring to those who hurt me
Tired of repressing the title waves of anger
Dragging itself up my vocal cords and dripping out my mouth
I'm so tired
Tired of looking in the mirror and seeing disappointment
Tired of begging death to find me and take me away
Tired of screaming out for help but hearing only ghostly silence back
Tired of people hearing me but not listening
Tired of being used and objectified
For things I can't control
I'm so very tired
Tired of having hope stick itself to the back of my mind
And stabbing me when I eventually get hurt
Tired of pleading for the all the sound to stop
But the silence always screams louder
I am so tired
So why won't anyone let me rest?

Ok so I actually wrote this a while ago and at the time I was really overwhelmed and stressed and very very tired. This is the resulting poem.