Never Alone Again |N.R|

Home time.

I had spent almost two years in Wakanda. That was a lot longer than I'd expected, but the technology had been deeply rooted and my trigger words were stubborn. Madame B had done well to train them into me as it had taken a lot to erase their control over me. They weren't totally gone. Depending on the day, saying just one of them would cause a small reaction and I'd have to step out of the room and calm myself for a minute or two. Shuri had tried everything to help me but time would be the best healer. Eventually I would grow to be better at coping.

I'd turned 17 then 18 whilst in Wakanda. Bruce had visited a couple of times to check on my progress more than anything, and Tony and Clint had visited a couple of times as well. They made sure that I was okay before disappearing for months on end. But Natasha never came. I heard  small tidbits here and there about her but nothing significant. I'm sure she'd forgotten about me by now, but I certainly hadn't forgotten about her.

In an attempt to drown out some of the harder to deal with emotions I'd developed an affinity to drink. It was only in the last 8 months since I'd turned 18, but I had at least one every night without fail. Bucky was still in Wakanda so he'd join me some nights, but other nights he'd try and convince me to stop. In the process of reversing HYDRA's damage, I'd become quite hardened to the world. At the beginning I was enthusiastic, but as things kept failing I'd started to lose all hope. So now that I was as fixed as I could be I wasn't all that excited or happy. I would be returning to a home where nobody cared about me or knew who I was anymore, and I'd have to deal with their surprise at how my innocence and positive outlook on the world had disappeared. I was a shell of the person I used to be, and they'd all have to get to grips with that because the old Rue was never coming back. She'd died a long time ago.

(-)

Bruce and Clint came to take me home from Wakanda, although Wakanda had come to feel like home. Bruce smiled at me whilst Clint pulled me into a hug, but I barely returned it. I just remained rigid in his hold, desperate for him to let go. They'd both tried to make conversation with me on the flight home but I didn't have much to say.

"So, how was it?" Clint excitedly waited for my reply, but it wasn't what he was expecting.

"Fine." My reply was blunt, almost angry and from then on the journey was silent, except for some chatter between them two.

When we finally landed there was nobody waiting for me other than Tony. He pulled me into a tight hug and I just remained solid in his arms, much like I had when Clint hugged me. I wasn't keen on physical comfort before, but now I hated it. These people had left me on my own, and as much as I understood why it still hurt for them to turn their backs. So once Tony let me go I walked inside, ahead of everyone, and made my way to the bar. It was just past noon, so an acceptable time to grab a drink. Tony was the only one that followed me there, and he almost audibly gasped when he saw me pour a glass of whisky.

"You want one?" I asked nonchalantly.

"As much as I love a drink, I think it's a little early."

"Fine by me." I took a seat on one of the sofas and he joined me on one opposite.

"How'd you feel about a party tonight? To celebrate your return."

"Sure, that'd be fun." I tried my best to sound excited but it was hardly convincing.

"Perfect. It'll start at around 7:30. You think you can save some drink for the rest of us?" He smirked at me.

"I suppose I can save a bottle or two." I smirked back. I'd missed Tony and his jokes.

"Oh, and your room is still your room. Everything is where you left it." I thanked him before he headed out.

For the next few hours I just sat on the same sofa and sipped at my drink before grabbing another, then another, and another. I was a little tipsy when it hit 6:30 and I decided to head to my room and get ready, bringing another drink along for the ride. As I wandered the halls I began to familiarise myself with the place, and it started to feel a little bit more welcoming. I was a few metres away from my room when Natasha left hers and I bumped straight into her. As soon as she realised it was me she jumped back, as though I was going to pounce on her. My drink had splashed all over my clothes, leaving very little in the glass so I gulped the rest down in one go.