CANNONBALL ⇒ jegulus

EPILOGUE

T H R E E
Y E A R S
L A T E R

Nervously, Regulus plays with the hem of his jacket as he listens.

"I feel like you both have heard each other out a lot over this past year. I'm very grateful you both took the mature approach and handled your problems by coming to a place of stability, where everyone can be heard and both parties can be given a chance to speak,"

Regulus nods, inhaling softly. His heart is beating faster than it has ever beaten. "We...we just wanted to make sure we were in the right headspace," He breathes.

"You did the mature thing for your son, Regulus. He's going to appreciate this in years to come, that his mummy and daddy worked through their issues to raise him in a pleasant environment," Pandora says, adjusting her glasses. "I understand you've been in therapy before, but bringing someone with you to couples counselling is a whole other ball park,"

Pandora Lovegood is a licensed couples therapist. James and Regulus had come to the decision a year and a half ago, just after Bowie's first birthday; that they had to see a professional. Regulus felt unsure initially, so frightened and insecure at the idea of returning to a therapist.

But James had ensured that they would be okay. No matter what.

Regulus nods. He doesn't say anything else.

"James, is there anything you'd like to add before we finish up?" Pandora turns to James, her bright hair wisping at her face as she moves.

James clears his throat, nodding. "Um," He pauses. He gazes to the carpetted floor before looking forward again. "I just want to say how proud I am of us for taking this step. I'm very proud of Reg for facing therapy again, I...I know this must be triggering to be in a counsellors office again and I just want him to know how proud of him I am,"

Pandora nods. "He knows, James, he knows," She says clearly. "Because you've just communicated that here, this is an open space. You're doing really well,"

James nods slower this time. He blinks before, "I never wanted to hurt you, Regulus," James can't look at his boyfriend. He feels emotional. "I'm so sorry I caused you so much pain and hurt. I...I wake up in our bed everyday and I'm always hit with this surtge of gratitude that you took me back and you let me be apart of you and Bowie's lives," James pauses to take a shakey breath. "And because you never stopped loving me, even when I didn't feel very loveable," James whispers. "Even when I acted unlovable-"

Regulus gently places a hand to James' shaking knee. He swallows. "S'okay, s'okay," He says hoarsely. He pats James' knee softly. "I...I love you, alright? Always,"

"James, Regulus has forgiven you; haven't you, Regulus?"

Regulus nods, tearily. "Yes," He breathes. "I forgave him a long time ago but...but I just never knew how to let him know that," He was scared to ever admit that he'd softened on James. They'd never broken up. Regulus often wonders if that in itself is evidence enough.

"James, you have to learn to forgive yourself. You can't take it back as much as you wish you could take your actions back. But you can't go on harboring such guilt. That won't lead you relationship anywhere. You have to learn to forgive yourself," Pandora advises softly.