The Mom of My Dreams

Life in the Not-So-Fast Lane

"Rox, I just don't know why you keep getting your hopes up. Both of us, we're not going to get adopted, okay? We're too old for people's liking. What's another two years," Opal said, sitting up in her bed. We shared a room at a small orphanage in Winslow, Arizona.

"I'm not going to give up Opal, I can't. I've waited sixteen years for a mom and this time I can feel it in my soul. I know it's gonna happen soon," I sighed. The truth is, I know my best friend is right. The only time anyone over the age of twelve gets adopted is when a rich old couple get bored and want to spoil a poor lonely kid. We all know that their money isn't shit to us, we want a family, not possessions.

"You might as well start thinking about what the hell you're gonna do when they kick you out of this run-down place," Opal stated, putting on her robe and slippers. "I'm going to get breakfast. Cheer up, blondie."

I sat there on the edge of my bed, questioning my whole life. What am I going to do? Why don't I know what I want to do as a career? Why am I always changing interests, like a kid in a candy shop? I got out of bed, washed my face, brushed my teeth, and changed my clothes. Another boring day in dump-town.

I walk downstairs to the small dining hall. There I see all of the elementary aged kids as well as the younger teens. Opal is already in line for breakfast, which was being served by the owners of this place. I pull my sluggish body over to the end of the line, where they have the plates and utensils. I skipped the line to get cereal. I was not in the mood for mushy oatmeal.

I walk over to the counter with the cereal dispensers, and then look at the page-a-day calendar the the owner, Peggy, always has.

July 2nd, 2017

"Shoot for the moon, and even if you miss-- you'll land among the stars."

What a bunch of bull-hockey. Such a quote for your sweet sixteen. That's right. Today is my 16th birthday.

After breakfast, Peggy called me into her office for a quick moment.

"Happy birthday gorgeous," She smiled and put her hand on my face. "Oh, my sweet girl. How are you feeling?"

Did I really want to answer that? How am I feeling?

"I'm okay, Peggy," I said faking a smile.

"Babycakes, I know you're upset. I promise you that a nice family will find you and make you the luckiest young lady alive," She said hugging me and kissing my cheek. Babycakes, for the love of all things. I hate when she calls me that. She leaned forward and whispered, "I got you something."

My initial reaction was to be scared. What does a 57 year old woman know what to get a 16 year old in 2017? She handed me a little rectangular box, wrapped in white paper with little pink birthday hats on it.

I took it and slowly opened it. I was nervous. Peggy's gifts were a hit or miss. As I continued to cautiously unwrap the present, I had noticed that it was a DVD.

Holy shit, there's no way.

It was Wild Oats, Jessica Lange's new movie. Well... It wasn't really new considering it has been released for almost a year now.

"Oh my gosh, Peggy, this is amazing," I said with my hand over my mouth.

"Awwww, I knew you would! You just cannot get enough of your Jessica Lange movies!"

"Yeah," I said as I looked down and smiled. I started to grow sad. I had always thought of Jess as a mother to me, but I knew she would never know who I am, where I am from, or even that I exist. I just wish she would love me. "I wish she would adopt me," I said sarcastically as I half-laughed. Although, the thing was, I wasn't kidding. I really did want her to adopt me. "Thank you, Peggy. I really appreciate it," I said as I gave her a hug. It had to have been one of the longest hugs I have ever given in a long time.

"Alright, alright. Get out of here! Go watch your movie, have fun," she said, laughing while jokingly shooing me away.

I laughed and walked out of the office. On the way down the hall, I passed Brian, Peggy's husband. "Hey Brian, thanks for the birthday present!"

"Anytime, birthday girl, I'm glad you liked it!" He said, smiling and winking at me. He was a nice guy, I thoroughly enjoyed his presence. I continued walking on, and went to my room. There, Opal was changing her clothes.

"Whatcha doin', O?" I asked her as I set my new movie on our little TV stand. The older orphans got the luxury of having nicer things in their room. Opal and I decided to have a TV and CD player for ours.

"Ahh, I'm getting ready to go play pool with Piper," she said smiling.

"Oh," I said with a half smile. Did she forget it was my birthday? Maybe I'm just being selfish. She deserves to have fun too, right?

"Why, what's wrong?" She asked me as she buckled her belt.

"Well, Peggy and Brain got me this movie and I thought--"

Before I could speak again, Opal's jaw dropped. "Oh my gosh I forgot."

"It's okay, O, it's hard to keep track of the days in this place," I said with a broken smile. Why did it bother me so much? Could it be the fact that Opal and I have know each other since we both can remember? The fact that we have been best friends and she can't even remember my birthday?

Opal cracked a smile, then started laughing. "I didn't actually forget, you gumball!" She reached under her bed and retrieved a relatively small package wrapped in brown paper wrapping. "Here ya go, Roxy!"

"You're awful," I said laughing and grabbing the package from her. I pulled one end of the twine bow she had wrapped around it. Inside, was Jackson Browne's Running on Empty and The Pretender albums on CD! "Opal, you didn't have to do this!"

"Oh, but I did. This is just gonna make your days better. And you'll stop using all my Wi-Fi."

"Oh, hush," I said laughing. "Thanks though, really. It means a lot to me."

"Anything for my bestie," she said and laughed. "Okay, now I am actually going to play pool with Piper. Please feel free to join!"

"Okay," I laughed. "I think for now I'll just watch the movie Peggy and Brain got me."

"Well you better tell me if it was good or not, you've been talking about the darn thing for a year now," She laughed. "Alright. Peace out, rubber duck!"

She has the oddest names for me. I look down at the three presents I got today, and feel an overwhelming wave of hope. Hope for today, and hope for the future. I can smell the good in it. I walk over to my TV stand and pop in the movie. Wild Oats. Even the name of the movie was exiting.

. . .

That was amazing, I thought. There was something so sentimental and beautiful about that movie. It was chaotic but calming-- better than I could ever imagine! As the ending credits play on the movie, I hear a knock on my door.

"Come in," I said grabbing the remote and turning the TV off.

The door cracked open, and it's Brain and Peggy. My heart dropped. For some reason, I felt something jubilant in the aura of the room. Could this be the moment I've been waiting for?

____________________________________________________

5 minutes earlier in Peggy's office....

"Well, Mrs. Lange, here are the options that we have," Peggy said as she brought out a binder of all the orphans to show the beautiful blonde lady.

"You see," Jessica said, almost confused. "I want a child who I can be friends with, but also mother for the last time. I miss that."

"I think I have the perfect girl."

____________________________________________________

"Sweetheart, there is someone here to meet you!" Peggy said as she sat down next to me on the bed. "She'll be up in just a minute."

"Am I getting adopted?" I ask, feeling shaky inside. Could this be real? Am I really going to get my own mother?

"Well, sweetie," Peggy said looking concerned. She smiled wide and then said, "She wants to. All you have to do is say yes."