the last smile

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today has been exactly one year since you left, a year you left me here alone.

if you ask me if i still go to our favorite places, i will break your heart saying no, but the truth is that i can't go there.

our bank is empty winning cobwebs, our park doesn't exist anymore, they're building apartments. the ice cream parlor still works, but you know i don't like ice creams and i was just going to see you smile.

your favorite place is destroyed, our beach is sad, dirty and invisible, no one remembers her after the all the pollution they caused. the sea no longer resembles nature, sunny days and happiness. it's dark and without any life. the sand is no longer yellow, it's in an indescribable color, covered in plastic. the wooden swings are broken, abandoned and you  don't see a single soul there.

it seems that everything fell apart after you went to explore that place that no living person knows.

i wish you were still here...

despite all that, i remember those places with good memories. there's always a tear or two, or maybe i cry a bit, but happiness is bigger when i remember those moments we spent together.

the nights we spent sitting on the seaside swings were my favorites, but everything I did with you was significant and special.

it was on those nights that your smile was the truest. your dimples appeared, your eyes smiled with your mouth, your cheeks turned pink and your glasses would fall to the ground because you had the habit of tilting your head backwards.

what made me happier in all that was that i was the reason you were smiling.

your dark and short hair illuminated in the moonlight, your bright black eyes reminiscent of the galaxy, the comfy and a little bit big clothes you wore made you who you really were.

i miss seeing you.

we would keep talking until late or enjoying each other's company while holding hands.

i miss your touch, it was soft and made me feel at home.

you would normally ask with the cutest and biggest smile in the world, "should we get into the water?".

even in the winter you would ask me that. in the summer i didn't care but in the winter i would say, "it's already two am and it's winter, so i don't think we should enter in the water".

but you were stubborn and wore my weak point, your smile. so i would ended up giving up and we would play for a bit.

i remember that like it was yesterday.

but it was more than a year ago and i just wish for one more night like that.

when we were tired, we would go home by foot, it was the best feeling ever, it seemed that we were both alone in the world.

when we got home we would talk a little bit, you would give me one last smile that could illuminate the whole world and we would fell asleep.

i miss you...

ps: i didn't had the chance to say it one more time, so i will write here,

lee donghyuck i love you

mark, 08.03.22

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