Miscarry

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I want to have you. To hold you.
But I've lost it twice before.
How can I keep going round and round.
Excited. Joyous. Anxious. Sad. Angry. Numb.
I want what I want and I'm terrified to want it.
I never thought this would be my journey.
I never thought I'd know this pain.
I don't think I can take another loss and I don't know what to do with that information.

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