CSI:NY The Saints Aren't Coming

So Sad About Me

A/N: Canon and angst following Snow Day, what happens when Gus leaves and Flack doesn't follow. S4 spoilers. Don't own what you recognize. Sequel to NOLA Rising, editing out some problematic bits.

Chapter 1: So Sad About Me

In all honesty, Gus had no clue what she was doing. She couldn't look at Flack, which is the only way she managed to see the cab heading towards her.

The fact that he wasn't meeting her eyes, in fact had his eyes closed in concentrated disbelief was how she managed to escape in the first place. Without thinking she commanded the cabbie to take her to Grand Central Station.

Standing in the middle of the chaos of the train station, Gus used everything within her power to not bust into sobs right there. "Get a grip, girl," she admonished herself in the middle of a crowd.

Suddenly spying a mailing station she walked over before she lost her nerve. Grabbing a mailer, she dropped a couple of items in to it and scribbled a familiar address on the front. "I need this delivered first thing in the morning" she told the bored looking employee behind the desk.

"Whatever, that'll be $14.83."

Gus forked over the last of the cash from her wallet. "Damn it" she cursed.

"I don't make the prices lady, if you don't want to send it express-" the employee started.

"That wasn't directed at you. Keep the change," Gus said, spying an ATM out of the corner of her mind. Taking out the daily maximum, she headed in the nearest restroom to try to collect her thoughts.

If she traveled by bus, train or plane, they could easily figure out where she was headed. But where the hell was she headed? Gus wondered to herself. Gus had just blown off the only guy to love her for her because...why the hell was she doing that again?

Oh yeah, because she was cursed, the ghosts of her past wanted to make sure she knew that her loving someone apparently meant everyone she cared for could potentially get blown up. So now she was running away. "Runs in the family," Gus mused to herself in the mirror over the dirty sink.

She was still in disbelief that Mac was leaving the lab, no his lab to run off to London with Peyton. When Peyton said she was thinking of asking Mac to come on vacation with her, she didn't think it was going to be so...explosive.

"Car!" she said to herself suddenly. If she rented a car, they wouldn't know where she ended up. Of course that limited her to driving distance, but that was still a pretty big expanse of land to cover. Not that she had her passport with her, or anything except what was in her tote, for that matter.

Gus flirted her way to the last car available at the rental counter, despite the gnawing that occurred in the pit of her stomach. Desperate times, she said waving away the feeling of guilt.

"Just get out of dodge," she said, sliding behind the wheel, which felt foreign to her after two years of big city living.

Gus drove, mindlessly, just trying to get as much distance between her and the city as possible. Finally exhausted and overwhelmed, Gus pulled over at a rest area. Looking at herself in the rear-view she was overcome with a sense of shame.

"What are you, fifteen?" she chastised herself, "things get weird and so you run away. You've messed up big time, Broussard. Don won't forgive this. You have managed to lose your lover, your partner and your job in one day, all because you are afraid! You deserve to be alone and miserable!" she said aloud to her reflection.

The silence was deafening and crushing. But what choice did she have? Don had an AK-47 staring him down and she froze instead of acting like the cop she was supposed to be, which resulted in Sanchez getting shot.