Destroy you (Wenrene Feat Karina)

Favourite Unnie

“You're so much more than what you think you are.

The first time Yoo Jimin met Wendy was when she was still in high-school. The Red Velvet girls were scheduled to perform a special performance at the school  under the request of the headmaster, which turns out to be SM's CEO's best friend.

Yoo Jimin, being the IT girl in the high-school have always dreamt of becoming an idol. She auditioned at the big three companies which includes SM Entertainment, JYP Entertainment and YG Entertainment and was accepted to all three companies.

Its no surprise, really. It is undeniable that she has the beauty, which is a total privilege in Korea Entertainment Industry. There was even a quote that goes; ‘Pretty face can buy talents.’

It's true. Life is easy for beautiful people, she confirms it herself. Everywhere she goes, people will always adore her. She's not even that smart, never really pay attention in class, barely attends school and yet people can't help but to worship her. Beauty privilege is a powerful thing. That is why Red Velvet Irene is someone she looks up to. Not only Irene Bae is a great dancer and rapper, but she possess the most powerful weapon. The beauty privilege.

‘The best visual in Korea’

‘The most beautiful woman alive’

That is how everyone describes Irene Bae, the goddes, the walking perfection, and so on. But there is a quote Yoo Jimin will never forget;

‘The best woman in this generation. ’

The words from one and only Wendy Son Seungwan, the main vocalist of Red Velvet and Yoo Jimin's first love.

She couldn't remember exactly when her obsession with Red Velvet's main vocalist has started. Maybe it was when she first watch their debut mv, Happiness? Wendy's bright smile sending sparks in her heart. Or maybe it was when she decided watching Wendy's compilations as her happy pill ? She's not sure. But if she were to remember a memorable memory, it was during this one particular school event.

She remembered her first time seeing her Wendy.
On stage with her other member. Looking so beautiful and bright as she always do. She was so close,Yoo Jimin can't believe it. She went to every Red Velvet concert, but her seat is always the one farthest. Luckily, being the IT girl of the school really have an advantage. Students were saving the best seat only for her and being in the front and the middle seat line, she can see Wendy up close. Breathtaking.

It was in a middle of the performance that Jimin choose to leave, going to the washroom as fast as possible. She couldn't breathe.

“No, please no. Not now.”

She clutched her chest and feel the tears were threatening to spill. It was her third panic attack that week. Her life isn't about rainbow and sunshine. It's dark and a nightmare. She never have something,someone to hold onto. Watching Wendy's videos has always been an escape from her problems in life.

It's getting worse. She can hear her parents arguing in her mind, her father coming home drunk, smashing her mother in the head with an empty alcohol bottle. She can feel the bruises her father left her with everytime he came home drunk. She can taste the illegal powder her uncle forced her to taste when she was 7. Each and every bad memories came in flood to haunt her mind. She dropped to her knees, hands on both her ears, covering the voices in her mind and her breathing is getting heavier and heavier. She's convinced she will pass out soon if it's not for another pair of arms grabbing hers and slowly released her hands from covering her ears.

“ Breathe, sweetheart, breathe. "

She recognise the voice. After making it an every-day routine to watch Wendy's videos, she knew the voice by heart.

“ Here, hear my heartbeat and breathe with me, okay sweetie? "

Wendy pulled Jimin's head to her chest and let her hear the steady rhythm of her heartbeat.

“ You're okay now, kay? No one will hurt you. I'm here for you, okay, sweetie? "

It was about five minutes or more when Jimin finally regained control of her breathing. Her body relaxing onto the older's. It was nice, Wendy's scent, Wendy's gentle strokes on her hair, Wendy's beautiful hums. Then it her like a truck. She's in the arms of Wendy. The idol she couldn't stop obsessing for. She quickly pulled away.

“ Im - I'm, so sorry, Wendy unnie. I was just- You- Your performance-"

“Hey, hey. It's okay, you know. I knew there's something wrong with the way your face paled earlier today . I guess I'm right."

“I don't want to burden-"

“You're not. It is important to me to check on people. Strangers or not. Everyone is important. ”

“I am not, though. I'm just a dissapointment, an unwated being a chaos maker, a failure and the list goes on and on. ”

She described herself exactly as what her parents used to call her at home.

“Hey, hey. Look at me. You're so much more than what you think you are. You just need someone to remind you everyday. And I'm willing to do that. ”

Jimin wanted to cry. It was the first time someone ecer said those things to her. Her life always revolves around parasite-like people who only wants something her from her. But here she is. With someone

“Yoo Jimin. My name is Yoo Jimin. But please call me Jiminie. ”
Yoo Jimin bowed.

“Yoo Jimin, a beautiful name for a beautiful girl. It's nice to meet you, I hope to see you again, pretty Jiminie” Wendy greeted with a smile and a wink. Yoo Jimin can't help but to blush.

Greasy. Wendy is also known as the greasy one in the group. Yoo Jimin watched videos of her being greasy and flirty but never been able to witness it up close like now. She froze as she watches Wendy walks away. She then notices blood on one part of the school's mirror that was broken.

“Oh”

She couldnt really remember what happened but she's glad it happened because now she has Wendy's napkin wrapped around her wounded hand. She stayed in the toilet for a little while, taking in everything that just happened.

By the time she manages to get her shit together, Red Velvet girls are gone and the performance is over the moment she exits the toilet.

“How long was I in the toilet?”