But What Else Can I Do?

Let Me

Jaebeom walked around the shop dazed, his thoughts clouded by a pretty face. It was only when Jinyoung waved a hand in front of his face, he realised he was being spoken to. Jinyoung chuckled, covering his mouth "What's your excuse for looking like shit?" he laughed gently, flopping down into the chair opposite him. "The date crisis" he snarled back, "you?" he questioned, as he looked Jinyoung up and down. Jinyoung looked tired too, the bags under his eyes more defined and darker than usual. "My noisy roommate playing video games all bloody night" he sighed, running his hands through his hair. "He's made a friend, so he stays up, yelling into the mic, for hours" he spat, taking a large swig of coffee. 

"You sound jealous" Jaebeom smirked, hiding his face in his own coffee. They sat in silence for a moment, enjoying their coffees when Jaebeom's mind drifted back to a certain stranger, "Do you think it'd be weird if I took a guy to reunion?" Jaebeom asked suddenly, unable to suppress his curiosity any longer. "Just because I'm out-" Jinyoung stuttered, struggling for the right words before simply saying, "I'm not going to pretend to be your boyfriend" flatly and staring at Jaebeom in shock. Jaebeom couldn't hide the look of disgust on his face, "Not you! You idiot!" he groaned, throwing himself back in annoyance.

Jinyoung lent forward, suddenly intrigued. "You're straight though" he said matter of factly, "Who did you have in mind?" he queried and Jaebeom honestly didn't have an answer. Not as straight as I thought but I don't suppose the stranger that exited my life as quickly as he entered it counts , he thought. "I don't know" he said truthfully, "Just thought about it after Bam yesterday, I know it was a joke, but it is a better idea than an escort" well he only lied a little, he reasoned. 

Jinyoung's eyes grew wide and he looked as if he was contemplating something. "Bam isn't a candidate" Jaebeom cleared up quickly "But maybe I can ask Mark" he nodded as if that was the plan all along. "I was going to ask Mark" Jinyoung said quickly, adverting his eyes and taking another gulp coffee.

"Why?" Jaebeom snapped, he wasn't sure why he felt so angry, it's not like he had feelings for Mark, he reigned his emotions in, trying to speak more steadily. "It's not like you" he added hastily. Jinyoung sighed heavily, "I don't want to go alone either" he grimaced, staring into his empty cup "And he is my roommate" he said as if he that gave him a sense of ownership. Jaebeom felt his anger rising, he threw himself back in his chair, arms flailing dramatically and clicked his tongue in annoyance. 

Angry thoughts swirling in his mind as he stared hard at Jinyoung. He sucked on the inside of his cheek for a moment before his filter dissolved altogether and he snapped "but you have other options! I don't! Why are you and Jackson the only two people in the world that don't know you're in love?"

Jinyoung's cheeks burned red, he glared back at Jaebeom, his face an unreadable mix of anger and sadness. "We're not in love" he spat and stormed off across the shop. Jaebeom turned around cursing under his breath and was met with two worried gazes, both boys staring at him with large confused eyes. He hated arguing in front of the kids. He shrugged at them nonchalantly, trying to make light of the situation.

 Yugyeom looked between them dumbfounded, "They are in love though, aren't they?" he questioned. Bam spluttered into hysterical laughter and Jaebeom smirked up at him, before turning his attention onto Jinyoung. He was stress tidying, ignoring the noise emanating from the café. He wandered over and watched him from the counter, trying to gauge how much trouble he was in.

His cheeks were still flushed red and he was muttering to himself angrily. Jaebeom tried to catch his gaze, offering a warm apologetic smile but was unable too. He sighed reluctantly as he wandered round the counter and sat down behind his desk. He opened a book, happy to escape from reality and after a few minutes fell into the blissful constraints of the pages, his mind entwined by the words within. 

A loud slam vibrated through the counter and Jaebeom flinched in response, breaking away from his captor. He looked up, just as Jinyoung slammed another book down. His eyes scanned the spines, Wuthering Heights , Pride and Prejudice , Sense and sensibility , another book slammed down, Jinyoung still not looking at him, Romeo and Juliet.

Jaebeom tried to resist the smile, hiding it badly with his hand. Jinyoung looked up at the bookshelf, humming to himself. "What's all this?" he asked gesturing to the pile, "Just some light reading" Jinyoung muttered, still avoiding his gaze. "That's not light" he laughed, "you should read this after" he offered flashing the cover of his book, Catcher In The Rye, finally gaining Jinyoung's attention. 

His stony face softened suddenly, "That's my book you're reading" he said flashing a small smile. "Oh" Jaebeom stared down in confusion and grinned back at him goofily, "Sorry" he said, rubbing the back of his head. Jinyoung's smile made him feel more at ease, Jinyoung had been one of the few constants in his life over the years and one of the few people Jaebeom could rely on. He decided it was better not to prod an angry bear and avoided the topic of the reunion for the rest of the day.

The day flew by and soon they were all bowing their goodbyes to Kihyun as they strolled out the shop. The four had barely shut the door behind them when a loud, booming voice screeched "PARK JINYOUNG", they all recognised the voice immediately. Bambam and Yugyeom instantly became over excited toddlers screaming and hopping up and down, waving frantically. Jackson was crossing the road, coming towards them. The brunette was grinning and screaming playfully in response to his warm greeting. 

Jaebeom stepped back, giving him a clear path to Jinyoung. Jackson grinned at him as he did, high fiving him as he passed, throwing his muscular arms out hugging the kids as Jaebeom watched him happily. You wouldn't know they were practically the same age he thought, Jackson just had a loveable, childlike demeanour that Jaebeom lacked. He was always full of energy and loved making others laugh, like a puppy, he mused. "Where are you taking me for dinner then?" Jackson beamed, glancing round at the four confused faces, Yugyeom let out a shrill high-pitched laugh scream and they began hugging again.

They decided on a chicken shop, not far from the bookstore and all sat squished around one table, the restaurant was fairly empty Jaebeom noted as he glanced around. The only noise really was coming from them, the four boys chatting animatedly with Jackson about his recent single and shows. Jaebeom sat silently, he was happiest just observing the others. His peace was disturbed by a loud whinge, "But this is bland" Bambam whined loudly, pouting at Jinyoung. 

"Jackson can't have spicy, you know that!" Jinyoung snapped, the slight pink blush apparent on his cheeks, "But I'm Thai man!" Bambam said pointing at himself sarcastically, causing an eruption of laughter from everyone. Jaebeom loved eating with his odd, dysfunctional family. They all walked different paths in life but still made time to come together and he was thankful for all of them, in their own ways, he thought as he winced through more ear-splitting shrieks from Yugyeom. 

The kids were hunched round Jackson watching something on his phone. That's when Jaebeom caught it, it was fleeting, a blink and you'll miss it moment. Jinyoung was watching them, eyes fixated on Jackson, sparkling and a smile spread goofily on his lips. Not in love , Jaebeom thought, Yeah right.